My husband got a great job offer out of state. I'm proud of him, and if he took the offer, he'd get a $14,000 raise. However, my career is going great, and I don't want to quit, move, and start over. So, one of us will have to give in and sacrifice their career for the others. Everyone just assumes I should be the one who makes the sacrifice. But why? Isn't my career just as important? (Sorry, just needed to vent).

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A $14k raise isn’t big enough to justify the lost $$ from having to find a new job, the mental load of having to build a new community, etc. Unless this is the opportunity of a lifetime or you’re really ready for a new environment, I absolutely would not move. And if your husband just expects you to go along with this, then you need to have a serious conversation. Best of luck.

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I got a $15k raise for changing jobs 25 minutes away!

Who has the greater long term career potential?

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$14K is nowhere near enough of a difference to move for. Are there any other pros/cons to consider? Are you close to family now? Would the move put you closer to family, or closer to a beach? All things the same, there is no way $14K is going to be worth moving for, especially if you'd have to leave your own good job.

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Moving out of state and dropping a Director job for $14k? Was that a typing error and you dropped a zero?

If it really is $14k, I'd pass on it. Even if it means LCOL.

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What was the conversation between you two when he applied/interviewed for the job?

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Good point.

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Can you go remote?

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I would think of long term and try to understand pros and cons. There should an understanding between both of you so that no regrets are down the road. I had a similar situation and had to start very late in my career. It’s sucks to start late but I am progressing. You already have a starting point so maybe there is something that you can do while the other spouse is building their career.
Good luck to you.

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It seems to me that $14K is not a significant enough of a raise to justify uprooting your household. Not only do you have to consider how you'd replace your income; you also have to consider how much more expensive is this new city to live in, commute, and the overall mental strain of acclimating to a new city, coworkers, etc. Everyone has career goals. However, nowadays, you have to be smart about the effect change will be in total.

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yes, discuss with each other which makes the most sense.

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Don’t give a sh*t to those who assume you should give up everything you earned. Their opinions do not matter

Can he work remote. I don’t think it is worth you giving up your income and try to get another position in this day and age. Good luck

Are you going from HC to LC area? Also, what does your husband do? Some states may provide you with better opportunity as well or not. I don’t think it should be a given that you are the one sacrificing but other factors go into the decision.

For $14K raise or $140K? The debate for me would end at $14K. That doesn’t even cover moving expenses.

Why are you sharing this with everyone if you don't want to do it? That's your first problem. Well, that and clearly you and your spouse aren't on the same page. Either you both support each other or one of you sacrifices for the other. It's not that complicated.

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