My paralegal is 20 years older than me and clearly hates taking my direction. I’m a first-year associate and my assigned paralegal has been at this firm longer than I’ve been alive. Every time I ask for a filing or a research task, I get hit with a heavy sigh. I want to be respectful of her experience, but I’m the one on the line if the deadline is missed. How do you assert authority without sounding like a pretentious kid to someone who knows the office better than you do?

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Honestly I think sometimes you just have to be comfortable with people being pissed off or upset. If she sighs heavily but gets the work done well and on time, who cares if she sighs? Thank her for the work she does, give constructive feedback when it’s needed, and ignore the rest.

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How is she hitting you with a sigh? Are you asking in person? Just email her.

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Just be polite and appreciative when she does stuff correctly and ignore her sighs. I worked with a paralegal for a couple years, every time I’d send her an email I’d count a couple seconds and then I could hear the dramatic sigh from down the hallway through my open door when she received the email. It was pathological, just seeing my name would make her sigh. It had nothing to do with me personally, but it was hard for me not to take it personally because it was so rude (but I think she wasn’t able to control it, so not entirely her fault). It took about 1.5 years until I could ignore it without having it affect me, and I did have words with her a few times for substantive issues like when she wouldn’t implement my changes before filing, which always resulted in her crying. It was out of my control to replace her, but eventually we did replace her and the whole office vibe got way better. Just do your job, be professional and polite, and don’t react to her rudeness. And be firm with what you need when you need it. The relationship may or may not get better. Just keep telling yourself it’s not a reflection on you, and do what you need to do to do your job well (which probably includes sweet talking the paralegal sometimes)

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You ask, with “deference.” I sprinkle in some Many thanks! and Thank you so much! into all of my correspondence. I also put a lot of trust in them and give them a lot of gratitude when they fully step up and proactively do their jobs. The building of trust takes time.

That being said, I’ve had paralegals that consistently miss deadlines or file things in my name without implementing my changes and those are not excusable.

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This, I’m always beyond polite and nice when asking for things and always make sure we have a good cushion on deadlines because I know they got other things they’re working on.

My biggest pet peeves are blowing deadlines, not even acknowledging when a task is requested, and not being proactive on tasks that they know are automatic in our cases which hamstrings me later when I have to go though and hand hold them and spoon feed them every thing I need done.

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Paralegals call young associates "baby face" attorneys . . . We're there to do your work (and we know where the bodies are buried) - hang in there and trust us, you're in good company with a very experienced paralegal! Signed: paralegal of 20 years . . .

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I got one at my firm who sounds similar. I been there 3 years and she been 26.

If I want anything done faster than week turnaround time or want any response or even just an acknowledgement at all on most tasks I’ve asked her to do that are well within her role and responsibilities I have to copy the partner on communications.

I don’t do it for everything and I can afford to be patient most of the time on most things. But when I’ve sent multiple email requests and follows up and been beyond polite about it and it doesn’t even get acknowledged that I’ve asked her to do the thing or I don’t get a timeline on when I can expect it to be done I start getting frustrated.

She is also one that is not receptive to change and adapting to technology that would greatly increase efficiency and workflow.

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