My partner keeps telling me to “use my judgment” when drafting client emails or memos, but the second I do, he rewrites every word and nitpicks tone, formatting, and even subject lines. If I check in before sending, I get told to take initiative. If I don’t, I get overruled. It’s like I’m constantly walking a tightrope with no clear expectations. I want to grow, but I’m feeling micromanaged into paralysis. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of feedback loop where you're damned if you do, damned if you don’t?

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This is textbook insecure-partner behavior—some of them want mini mind-readers, not actual associates. Honestly, if they want robots, they should invest in AI and stop wasting your time.

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I was micromanaged to death at my previous firm by one senior associate turned partner… I would occasionally ask others about it - do you think this is weird, am I going crazy, etc. - stuff like that - and people (my colleagues) would go “no I think you’re reading into it, they probably do it because x”… so I went along with it for several years… I always thought it was insecurity by the partner but then would get talked out of it or think I was in my head. Finally left and let me tell you sometimes it takes leaving and working in a different environment to realize how unhealthy a situation was. Just sharing because your instinct is probably correct and I went through similar thing being frustrated and having left it took that perspective to realize how difficult that person was to work with (felt I could never do anything correctly and instruction/expectation was always changing and often blatantly inconsistent, which caused paralysis and overthinking the littlest things) and I should have left sooner. Unfortunately this particular person was unavoidable in my group so that was not a solution.

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Echoing the above especially because you say this is “your partner” — I also worked for a toxic micromanagerial boss, and in my experience it does not get better. Would highly recommend thinking about either trying to work for someone else or leaving — there are actually good bosses out there and omg working for them is so much better.

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You’ll eventually learn that partner’s style. So try to tailor your drafting to that. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter much what we think or our preferences.

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While not quite the same, I work for a partner who is incredibly rude to me. 9/10 times she’s passive-aggressive and answers my questions with responses like “figure it out for yourself”, “what does it look like?” and “read it again.” I need the job so I just grit my teeth and take it, but as soon as the market picks up, I will be lateraling the hell out of here.

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Rudeness should not be tolerated anywhere (whether in the workplace or real life). If you are that miserable, don’t take it out on others… or if you have real issue and concern, tell that person like an adult in a respectful manner.

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This is all pretty common. Difficult to deal with, but common. Just get a really thick skin, and keep calm and carry on. The feedback that actually matters is your performance reviews at the end of the year and your comp.

Fuck being micromanaged!!!! especially if you have years of practice under your belt

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