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Hey guys. I have been applying to Amex for the past 1 year. Tried applying on the portal, through referrals and even hr consultants reached me regarding the roles since I have a relevant profile. But not once have I been shortlisted or called for an interview. What could be the problem?
PS: I have gotten calls from every other company for the same profile but not amex. Can't be a problem with the profile. Seems something dicey which I'm not aware of.American Express
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You work in consulting in the Bay Area and are looking to get married but don’t have $20k for mahr? If so, you may have bigger issues to sort out first before taking on the lifelong financial responsibility of having a wife/family. You want a woman to move across the world for you away from her family and friends, but are concerned about $20k and some flight costs?
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Agree with VP1 - Interpreting Islam based on convenience has become fashion of the day
No you’re not overreacting - speaking from experience having married my wife from there. The MENA region has a warped sense of dowry, with figures like 50k seen as the norm. They live in their own little bubble and large dowries are seen as a flex. And just like the rest of the world, everyone thinks that Americans are walking around with wads of cash.
I went through this same process and had to deal with her uncle who humiliated me repeatedly that I “only” offered 10k - which all my friends in the U.S. offered their wives. The men started questioning, like the people above, if I was even ready for marriage, if I could support my wife etc. even though I make 300k+ a year. I almost had to furnish my W2 and flash my watches to show that I make money, because that’s what they respect in MENA. They don’t care about anything else about the clothes you were, the car you drive and the watch you were.
I ended up talking to my wife who was okay with whatever I offered. Her mother and aunts were also modest and religious enough to understand that mahr is a gift, not a declaration of wealth or love, and they were able to talk some sense into the men of her family. We literally “benchmarked” across multiple families to demonstrate we were not being cheap or unreasonable. The 50k figure didn’t even come from her but rather her uncle. So it ended up working well, but I was prepared to walk away if it didn’t because I wasn’t going start my marriage off with a list of demands that is not realistic for a household in the west. A mahr is ultimately a gift. If there’s concerns about whether I can support a spouse, that is a different conversation to haggling over a gift.
Yes, it’s her right to ask for whatever she wants - but Islam teaches us that mahr should be modest and ensuring it does not become a financial burden for the groom or restrict marriage. The point wasn’t that I couldn’t “afford” 50k, but that it would drain our savings and hurt us from saving up towards a house in the next year or so. We’re literally in a fishbowl here where something like 20k in mahr, isn’t the norm when household salaries in the U.S. are 80k. And if we normalize high mahr and lavish weddings, marriage only becomes more inaccessible to the less well off.
What's bothering you? Dowry is wife's right as per Islam and you cna have a conversation about it. She can even allow you to pay it over time.
Move to USA is an administrative expense and obviously falls into you. Later in life would you say that dear wifey, pay for your own tickets back home out of your dowry money?
$20k usd + gold!! I mean if OP is earning well and has huge savings, maybe but still it feels too much to ask for.
Gosh may this type of man never find me. Talk to your future wife!
Thats fair, inshallah your future spouse is better and more well off than me. But I did speak to her, it’s all out of her hands as her father does not want her involved in that conversation. She was mad as she knows about all the other costs I will incur with the visa, all the back and forth flights to not stay away for her for long as the visa process is long, and everything else.