Spouse makes $130k base as a lead designer of a well known brand company. Another competitor reached out to the spouse for an open role equivalent to one level higher, and base starts at $250k. Spouse won’t even talk to the recruiter because the current brand has very good image while the competitor is more mainstream and flashier (think Supreme).

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It would be helpful to remind you SO that creative industries are incredibly ageist. The skills they possess are valued because they’re young and have momentum. They will be yesterday’s news in 10 years.

Ask them how many 40+ yr olds they work with/around. Then do a quick LinkedIn search to see how many unemployed 40+ yr old creatives there are. It may be eye opening.

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Won’t she have significant influence as a lead designer? Couldn’t she move the brand in a better direction? Could that be why they’re interested in hiring her for?

That’s how I would approach it with her. I think it’s ridiculous for her not to even talk with the recruiter. She can decide not to take the job, but right now she doesn’t have all the information to make that decision.

Also remind her that fashion is a fickle thing, one minute you’re hot, the next you’re not. It’s important to advance your career when it’s hot. It won’t be forever. If you’re not experienced in this field, ask her to ask the advice of other designers she trusts.

likefunny

I specifically said “remind” and suggested that she talk to her industry mentors.

And just because you’re in an industry doesn’t mean you know everything about how it works. Especially when these folks are in their mid-20s, just starting out in their careers.

likefunny
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Why don’t you find a job you don’t want to do for 120k more, why does it need to be your spouse?

I get that the money would be helpful but if they don’t want to go there’s no need for you to do the job of the recruiter IMO.

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No

It's her career. Even though finances may be shared, you have to respect what she wants to do for 8+ hours a day

likesmart

Then OP needs to be more assertive

This is the problem with “creatives”

likefunnyuplifting

I’m a creative and usually follow the money as long as it’s an ethical workplace. OP feel free to send me the job posting 😀

funnylikesmart

Money isn't everything

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Seems like you already know what you want, but that doesn't mean it's the only perspective

I keep telling my spouse that +$120k pay increase (will be $7000 extra income monthly post tax) is life changing but the spouse thinks the competitor brand is too childish and not sexy. Any best tip to make my spouse get excited??

likefunny

Has she visualized what she / the two of you could do with the extra money? Try to get her to put pen to paper instead of you just talking about it in passing.

Did a similar exercise with my SO in terms of translating the pay bump into extra nights out, vacations, and extra savings. Also did a 5 year projection so we could understand how much the difference means down the road from a pure $ perspective.

Our mental accounting as humans sucks, and it’s funny how many times this kind of exercise has impacted decisions.

That said, we only do this in the context of ethical decisions. Doesn’t sound like this is ethics as much as your partner hypebeast judging the other brand.

likesmart

It’s her dream, not yours. Why push it?

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How do you know it’s HER not HIM

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Sounds like when you agreed you “both” would focus on money the next few years, she was actually just banking on you sacrificing everything to make partner while she coasts through a role she is comfortable in. Just reading this is incredibly frustrating and I’m feeling for you

My tip would be to frame the money in terms of vacation houses or cars or opportunities for your kids someday or whatever her values are

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Bunch of other comments said “she” so I assumed it was established somewhere M1 bud. Sorry I didn’t track it down. Same points and frustrations if it’s a guy or non binary or whatever you’d like

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Sounds like you guys need to talk about what your priorities are as a family.

likesmart

just to clarify, we are both in mid twenties and we both agree to prioritize financial earnings at least over the next several years.

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Sorry to pop the tough question OP: but do you see a long, long-term future? Obviously you’re not considering this solely on her not wanting to even hear more about the job, but the lack of rationality of a financial decision like this is rather alarming. Please ignore all the woke answers trying to be as devil’s advocate as possible and saying “well she shouldn’t want to have a $400k salary increase ! Money isn’t everything!”

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You’re kidding, right? What a terrible perspective. Nothing here has to do with being “woke”. This isn’t a lack of being rational. Lmao grow up

likefunny

That’s a tough one. Do they come from a family of means? What makes them so dismissive of a $7k monthly increase?

It sounds like their concern is that the brand is childish and doesn’t have long term prospect. Maybe affirm to them that the skill set and responsibility of the work is what is valuable, not necessarily the brand name.
The “childish” brand name is newer, and like a startup, hence why they’re throwing big money for this role, similarly to how startups offer massive sums of money to get competitive consultants/bankers to grow parts of the company.
They have the funding and are investing in this role’s salary for a reason.

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They’re doing what they want because you’re doing what you don’t want. Figure out where you want to go from there.

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Supreme was purchased by the very main steam Vans

smart

Money is not everything, some of these companies will bring you in with a high base and get rid of you so quick

Give her an ultimatum, works every time

A higher brand value of the company you work for has two benefits. 1. To help you position yourself for future roles and 2. To impress strangers at cocktail parties

Sounds like SO is extracting the value through the future role - in which case, the brand is still on the resume.

There is likely more to this situation.

The recruiter could be baiting her with a huge salary and in reality it is mostly variable compensation, or the real compensation is much lower.

Another possibility is that there is something toxic about the workplace and they cannot find anyone who will join/stay so they are paying well above market rate out of necessity.

"Too good to be true" is the mantra that comes to mind. It could be worth exploring in case there is some anomaly and it is a good option - but I suspect that there is some underlying information being withheld.

Just tell him/her to get the offer and use it to raise her salary via counter offer at the current firm he/she likes :)

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