Talk me out of this:
This is mostly for the mothers. I have 2 young children with one on the way. I’m at a small/midsize firm with mid-level salary. I can apply to a job in big law but I know my WLB will take a hit. At the same time, I feel like I work enough now that I need to outsource a lot but can’t afford to so we’re just floundering, whereas the big law salary is almost double, plus I’m guessing benefits will cost me less out of pocket (for the family). (Cont. in first comment)

I think my main question to you is, do you like working?
Basically the money will definitely help. I have a sitter come every weekend for a 5 hour stretch so I can either work or rest. I also pay for cleaners to come every other week and sometimes when work is especially busy, I pay for a meal service. But I also pay $2000+ per month in insurance premiums for the whole family (so no guarantees on lower out of pocket payments for benefits) and I worked 2-3 hours every day on my last vacation, simply because a deal was closing and things just needed to get done. At times I feel grateful to be making the money I do to be able to afford a good life but at other times I’m resentful that I’m not able to enjoy the family I’ve created. So you know, pros and cons. But if you particularly enjoy the work, might as well get compensated for it and stop feeling like you’re drowning.

I’m a single mom to a 4 year old. I work in big law and I am a mid level (salary is around the $400k mark per year + bonus). I outsource what I can - I have a cleaner and someone who does our weekly cooking for us. I had childcare but for a number of reasons, currently don’t have anything outside of preschool with aftercare. My insurance premiums are extremely expensive. I am barely saving any money outside the minimum (401k, 529, IRA). No rainy day fund no investments. I live in a HCOL city and I’m paying off student debt AND alimony, so to be fair, that’s where my money goes.

Map out a budget and what the money will look like. Your hours will be fine so long as you have a team of people respectful of your life as a parent (for example, I am mostly offline from 5:30-8:30 pm every night). See if that money difference is good enough for you to make the change but if you do make the change, do your search very intentionally. Make sure that you would be joining a team of good people and not assholes.

I have two young kids in biglaw and would recommend you keep your current job unless you need the money

I cannot emphasize enough how much you should stay put. BigLaw is not about WLB at all. I was in BigLaw with all 3 of my kids and left when my youngest was 15 months. It's been *amazing* since and I sometimes have to remember I shouldn't kick myself for not doing it sooner.

As a non-partner you can easily expect to work a minimum of 10 hour days in Big Law (but often more), plus weekends. Also, they are less likely to offer you flexibility when needed or any actual autonomy.

Considering you are content, at a minimum, where you are. Please stay put! And congratulations on baby number 3. My third has been a dream, and is such a lovebug!

Your two kids will get less of you when the third is born, no matter what. Are you sure you want to reduce your availability for your kids at the same time that you’re adding a third?

Assume that Big Law work life balance doesn’t exist (there are very very rare exceptions, but you wouldn’t know if you had one until you were there +3 months). However hard you are working now, it is possible to work harder/longer, certainly while you’re proving yourself and building goodwill.

Also: it is very very unlikely you will make partner or otherwise have a long career (+5 years) at the Big Law outfit. After Big Law you’re likely to go in house with a big pay cut. Do you really need to maximise your earnings for the next 2-5 years specifically? Your current shop sounds like a better bet for a long term private practice career, which could maximise your earnings over the long term. Plus, you know, a better chance of being present for your kids’ early years.

I was in biglaw (litigation) for 8 years and now am more midlaw / biglaw lite (salary w small bonus is around $415). It’s so much better where I am now, even with the pay cut. I have two small kids, and I actually get to see them, and also was able to move to a much more affordable area. Biglaw hours are tough even without kids. I don’t think it makes sense to move into biglaw when you have small kids — it’s a much better lifestyle when you are young and right out of law school and willing to give up everything and be on call 24/7. Plus at that point in your life (or at least in my life) working late was great, because it meant free dinner almost every night. But if I had kids, I wouldn’t have been able to see them.

So my vote, stay.

If it were me I’d stay where I was. Am in big law, senior associate with much older kids (teens). I think the shift from “treat you like an adult” to “we pay you for your time” might be harder as a mid level then it is for a junior who doesn’t know any better. My benefits at my last firm were super expensive also, so I wouldn’t assume you’ll save there.

Reduced hours track - Big Law. You'll get paid the same, if not better, for fewer hours of work. You also get Big Law on your resume, which will improve your marketability. Your ego will take a hit, but you will get more of your time back.

SA/biglaw: I see how much associates work first hand. Just do it so you don’t have to wonder. If it doesn’t workout, everyone and anyone will hire you with BL on ur resume!

I could have written this post. I have nothing helpful to offer, just wanted to say I’m in the same boat and honestly don’t know what to do. If you decide to jump to BL, I would really love to know how it works out for you. I wish you all the best!

Not big law but am a mom of now adult children and a paralegal about to start 3L.

Don’t do it. Stay where you are. You will trade not enough money for not enough time and way more stress, guilt and pressure. You will have an entirely different relationship with your oldest two than you will your youngest. That will be a challenge to navigate for all of you.

Having little kids is HARD no matter the situation. Things start to get a lot easier once you are out of the childcare years.

Having any employer be flexible and truly understanding about your family in real life and not just in their press releases is worth its weight in platinum.

You can make more money until you kick the bucket. There are very few first days of school, class parties, parent lunch days, etc. you snap your fingers and suddenly it’s over.

I have no real regrets about not making more money. I have very real regrets about the times I missed an important event because of work. Luckily by the time they were in middle and high school I was established enough in my career that I was able to be there for most things. Just in time for it to not be “cool” for me to show up.

When they are older and out of your house they won’t care about how much money you made. They will care that when they looked at the audience or bleachers they saw you sitting there. My daughter tells people still that I never missed a game or band concert.

Would you be able to go back to your current firm if you don’t like biglaw? If yes, I say just do it.

The money is great, but after 4 years in Big Law with a now 6 and 4 year old, I’m quitting in June. It completely drained me and I at least need a break from practicing, but may never go back.

I've never been in Big Law but everyone who posts about it seems miserable. I just went in-house to spend more time with my family and I have a 1 yr old. I would stay where you are. I don't know if the juice is worth the squeeze here.

Personally I think the big question is your practice area and what firm you’d go to. I recently moved from boutique to big law in a specialized area and it’s been way better for me. There’s more resources and a great culture so I am way happier in big law. Also pregnant FWIW.

If you are working enough now that you need to outsource, your biglaw experience will be similar. You should absolutely get paid as much as possible for your time. As a mom of one with one on the way, I want MAX income for my time. I personally would wait until 3rd bb arrives, gets settled into the fam and then move when the dust settles a bit if you have that luxury.

How many hours do you work now, and also how much are you paying for benefits? Biglaw firms are actually notoriously bad with benefits prices. I pay about $400/month for just myself. A friend who has a spouse and children on our plan I think pays something like $1600/month for insurance.

I’m sure the pay would still be more, but the hours is a big differentiator. If you’re already working similar hours, then I’d say go for it. But if you have much better balance right now, hard to say that the pay would be worth missing time with your family.

Nothing brings you freedom like financial freedom. If you’re “floundering” because you have debt (credit card, car, student loans, mortgage)- IF you decide to pursue the trade-off of more money/less personal time, I recommend staying hyper-focused on your “why” and aggressively pay down debt. This is hard when you work so much, because you want to see the fruits of your labor and “enjoy” your higher salary. But if you can pay down a lot of your liabilities in the coming years, you will have the luxury to downshift your career in coming years (if you choose to), without floundering. Then, you can be more present and less stressed while spending more time with your family. There’s something to be said about short term sacrifice for long term gain. It’s true that you never get “the early years” back, but your child’s core childhood memories will be formed between 6-12-ish. If you focus on that period of your children’s lives, maybe the sacrifice early on will seem more worthwhile? Only you know!

But I also like my firm a lot now. They treat me like an adult, there are target billables but your work ethic and quality of work is also valued, and my boss is understanding of my family situation.

I’m trying to decide if the money is worth it. Firms are hiring in my practice area right now and I’m a midlevel so the time to make a move is now or never.

F