Those of you who earn more than your partner, do you expect them to split the bills evenly, or do you cover the majority? I cover a solid 80% of our bills, sometimes more, which I wouldn't mind, but my husband wastes so much of his money. I want him to either put more money in savings or contribute more to the household expenses, but he says this request is financial abuse. 🙄 I'm starting to hate him, I think. Is this enough of a reason to leave, or am I overreacting? WYD in this situation?

If you’re married, just put all the money together and create a monthly budget together.

I agree with most of what the others have said. I earn 3x my husband, but we have never used “my/his money” terms in our marriage. It all goes to the pot and we pay the bills. We talk before making larger purchases. It’s worked for us for 20 years.

At the risk of sounding too Dave Ramsey like, people’s willingness to share everything besides their money is wild. People are so unserious about marriage

All of our money is in joint accounts and all bills come from those accounts. What’s mine is ours and what’s theirs is ours. Don’t see any need to over complicate things

You two are married, which means you made a lifelong commitment to figure out these problems together. There is no his money and her money, it is y’all’s money. You guys are more than just roommates

While it might be helpful to get data on others, honestly you should consider talking to a professional on this. Not sure what other aspects of your relationship are like, but I don’t think what you describe seems healthy

Relationships are tough (I’ve been divorced twice, and like 1/2 of marriages don’t last - it’s good to get some counseling

Wishing you well…

I like to do things on percentages because it seems more fair to me ... so 60% of my paycheck and 60% of his goes into an account for bills, yes his 60% is a smaller dollar amount but ratio is what I think makes it fair.. 10% into savings/retirement each and then the other 30% goes into individual accounts so we can do what we want with the remaining

call dave ramsey

Why does he have “his” money? Get a joint bank account. Deposit all paychecks to the account. Pay joint credit cards and bills from the account.

You can slide off an agreed upon allowance from your budget to each of you if you need mad money

Im married so it doesnt matter in the slightest who pays what lol

When we got married, my money and his money became OUR money. That's how we do it. There have been times that I made more money (I paid off his car and paid for our whole honeymoon when we got married because he was still in school), and times that he made more money (deployed to Iraq for a year and I moved back home with my parents so we could save all his money for a down payment on a house). Yes, we still have arguments over money because he eats out too much and I shop too much, but never has it not been OUR money. It all goes in and comes out of the same account. We each have an allotted monthly amount that we can spend without questions, but it's the same amount for both of us. I think you need to decide if you are married or if you're roommates.

Married about 15 years. My husband and I have never shared money. I had bad habits and he’s miserly. I take on the bills I can. He pays the mortgage and all insurances. I pay the rest. He has a retirement which I don’t. The income has bounced back and forth over the years with the bulk being in favor of him being higher. Now it’s pretty even. I’m 10 years older and on Social Security, working when I can. I was taught nothing about money growing up and my first husband wasn’t good with money either. I’m not saying it’s perfect but it’s what works for us. I admire those who can work together and avoid conflict. Money breaks up a lot of relationships.

I make 3 times what my wife does and we have one bank account. The money is our money, not my money. It was that way when she made a little more than me, and it is still that way now when I make a lot more than her.

I earn more than my husband by about $50k. When we got married we put everything into one bank account. We have shared credit cards and we each have a solo card so things like birthday and Christmas gifts can still be a surprise. I have never understood how people agree to join their lives together but not actually be a team and keep separate yours and mine accounts.

I make significantly more than my husband. I make $170k, him $40k. But we each pay 100% of the bills. Because his money is mine and visa versa. The couples able to build the most wealth are the ones who combine finances.

Honestly, you shouldn't be asking advice from people you don't know. We don't know your situation or marriage psychology enough to give you decent advice. I would take a good look at your life with this person and decide for yourself if it is worth it. Look at the whole picture. Good luck.

We’re married so the paychecks go into a combined account and all expenses are just taken from there without consideration of how much we earn. At the beginning of our marriage (first 6 months or so) we kept seperate accounts and it started to get really messy (I.e. who pays for rent, expenses, car payments, etc). Ultimately it doesn’t matter since it’s coming from the same place and we quickly realized that having two seperate accounts just added unnecessary stress and fights.

I make more than my spouse and he covers all the household bills, while I pay for groceries and toiletries. I have student loans and he get VA assistance so it works out for us. I agree with the majority of the comments here, that it’s “yalls” money. However, I can understand your frustration, especially since it sounds like he is financially illiterate. A lot of people have no clue how easy it is to build wealth with a spouse and you two could potentially retire early or pay your house off if he buckled down.

I think you should try to bring in a third party, like a therapist, or religious leader. He might need another man to tell him that he is wrong.

Run.