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I hope my manager rotten in hell!!!!😡😡😡
Not working this weekend... Fuck yeah
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Rising Star
If you’re married, just put all the money together and create a monthly budget together.
I agree with most of what the others have said. I earn 3x my husband, but we have never used “my/his money” terms in our marriage. It all goes to the pot and we pay the bills. We talk before making larger purchases. It’s worked for us for 20 years.
This is exactly 💯 the way it should be. love this for you!
I'd reduce the amount I contribute to the household to 50%. Start saving money and visit a divorce attorney. Him accusing you of financial abuse simply to relieve the financial burden is enough.
You are not overreacting. Trust your instincts.
FYI: I'm a proponent of prenups, postnups, domestic partnership agreements, cohabitation agreements. I'm a proponent of separate accounts.
I just find it funny that if this was a man, and his wife said this women would side with the wife.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. May I ask, how didn’t this come up before marriage? Or did it and he just changed?
We have a monthly expense budget, each of us contribute to the joint account based on our income. His income divided by the total household income is his share and my income divided total is my share. For fixed expenses like house mortgage, we both pay an equal share and variable is by the income ratio
We pay bills in proportion to our income. At some periods in our relationship, that has meant one of us transfers money and the other handles the bills and at other periods it has meant we split them up like I’ve got the mortgage and he’s got the utilities. Either way it’s been proportional.
The money my spouse and I earn is community property for purposes of budgetary expenditures, savings, investment, and discretionary spending.
Tell me you're a lawyer without telling me you're a lawyer :)
My husband and I put our money together and I take care of allocating the money for bills. Then we communicate on extra spending we can do and or afford. Communication and trust is key!
This is interesting. I used to wonder the same thing until not too long ago. When we first got married, we agreed to split household expenses - each of us would cover certain costs. Since I earned more, I took on the larger share, covering things like mortgage, utility bills and some others. But after a few years, we found ourselves frequently arguing about money - struggling to cover our individual portions and blaming each other for poor savings or overspending. Eventually, we decided to contribute to a joint account each month, with our contributions proportional to our incomes. It’s been working well. Our family expenses are now more transparent, and more importantly we both find ourselves a lot more mindful about how we use our money.
I love this.
Be careful. I left my husband of almost 20 years and ended up paying him more than half my income after an expensive and awful separation negotiation. He had quit a job paying a reasonable amount of money to take a part time job for minimum wage without talking to me. So leave but take care
100% of both my husband’s and my paycheck both go into the joint account. We then pay OUR bills and have a monthly automatic investment to OUR savings account. If we need more $ in the checking account during a month for a certain reason, say the 6-month car insurance premium is due, we transfer $ back from savings and have a short conversation about it. 100% transparent. 100% of the money belongs to both people.
If you're married, why are there still separate accounts? Those vows mean you're a single unit. Whats yours is mine and vice versa, everything goes into one account. None of this ticky-tacky nonsense. As a woman who makes more than my spouse, I don't nickle and dime who pays what. It all goes together. As long as the bills are paid and we put money away every month, we get to have fun with the rest. Remember back when the family unit wasn't completely ruined and women stayed home and only the husband worked? He paid 100% of the bills and didn't hate her for it.
The joint bills, yes. Then the bills each has like their car or individual credit cards - no
Is this reddit?
I wonder how many married couples pool their incomes. We pooled when I was married, in my late 20s, but later on when I was older (40s, I became a widow at 32) and I lived with a guy for over 11 years, we never even considered pooling or making a shared account. I think it depends GREATLY on the level of trust.
Do y’all have kids, how does this arrange men t work out with that?
My partner and I decided the lower salary was the base. We both pay 100% toward a joint account up to the lower salary. If you make more than the base that’s yours to do what you want with.
I think this works for you maybe you and your partner salaries are quite similar, so contributing evenly makes sense. In other cases where one earns much more than the other, proportional contribution is the way to go - actually it is also the same in your case if your salaries are close to 1:1
I put all of my income towards bills and then my husband covers the difference. I trust him to take care of my additional needs and wants and I’m happy to contribute what I can.
This is enlightening... I currently cover most bills for our household, separate cars, insurance, phone etc. but feel like Im faced with financial burdens that she isn't. However her pay is pennies on the dollar comparatively. However she expects me to pay an extremely high amount of her student loans which before marriage we discussed I would never contribute $1 towards. AITAH?
How do you know they can cover it? Maybe they are a social worker making peanuts. I have no idea.
My point is when you get married you are one entity and letting the other suffer when you can help makes no sense. If you wanted that you should not have gotten married. Just my opinion.
I currently make more than my husband… we direct deposit all our paychecks in one account, all bills get drafted from that account, then we have a % go to savings, a % go to investments, and then we both get an equal amount of “spending money” that gets transferred to personal checking accounts. He’s putting in less money technically, but we have equal outcomes at the end of the day so we are both wasting the same amount on hobbies/fun.
If your husband isn’t willing to do something as important as sit and budget to save the marriage, then imo he doesn’t give a shit.
I make more than my husband but we both make more than enough. We each contribute equally to a joint account that we use for pretty much everything. Bill, nights out, standard expenses. We contribute more than we spend monthly so the money that accumulates is joint savings. everything we have left over from our paychecks after that contribution is our own fun money to use however we want.
Unless salaries are wildly different and one person isn’t actually capable of splitting 50/50 I think I’d feel resentment if I had to pay more and they were doing whatever they wanted.
Occasionally I do use my own “fun money” to fund vacations for the both of us.. and that doesn’t bother me because I value vacations and quality time and I know I have more left over every month than he does.
Split