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I hate this job. That is all.
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I wouldn't for someone who I'd be in the same group with. But I would for a position outside my group.
TBH, I didn’t enjoy law school, and I don’t like being a lawyer. I made a mistake going to law school. I barely made close friends in law school and I don’t think anyone has a positive impression of me. But being in law is part of my path for a little longer until I’m out. Being homeless because my vibes were “meh” doesn’t sound really justified, though. This is a large part of why I want to leave this industry.
You have no idea how meh your vibes may be to others. It doesn’t justify the inability to use the only network you worked hard or paid a ton of money to acquire and can’t replicate. If they aren’t a direct culture match, it’ll be sorted out over time, but they’re probably reaching out because they need help and don’t have other options. You never know when you’ll need something similar.
It’s very hard to avoid the issue when you were asked. You are talking about sidestepping. What you are really saying is you want to find a way to ghost the person. If you are so uncomfortable the right thing to do ( but the hardest and honest thing to do ) is tell the the truth. It will hurt the person, end the friendship or whatever you have with them but get you off the hook from helping someone who reached out because you are implying you don’t want to be associated with them. You’ve already prejudiced them.
How well do you know their work quality? Have you seen their work personally to call it “meh” ? And what does moderately well mean? As to the “vibes”, perhaps you simply have not been in a situation where you and this individual were really able to open up in an authentic way and if they are asking to be referred you can be sure they are feeling a bit vulnerable. You might feel the same if you were in the asking position. This person might make a good addition to your group given the opportunity to shine. Why not help them out? If they are not a hard “no” then be the person that turns “meh” into “wow”. In this world helping people is a good thing, including colleagues.
As a follow up: how would go about declining? That would probably burn a bridge (a meh bridge, but still). But I can’t see forwarding the resume with a less than enthusiastic endorsement.
Then be a “man” about it so to speak and put your money and reputation where your mouth is - burn the bridge - apparently the person is “ meh” in your life. Be honest and tell the person rather than ghost and know that there might be a day when the tables get turned. You don’t have to give a glowing endorsement by the way. You can say something like “I know this person is actively and wholehearted looking and has qualifications that may benefit our group. I don’t know too much else. They are at least worth an interview.” Then it’s on the person to sell themselves. You were simply the bridge between them and the higher ups.
If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it
What will you do if they apply through HR and end up getting an interview with your group? It would likely come up in an interview that you know each other, and you’d probably get asked about them; would you try to tank their candidacy?
Yeah agreed, that’s why I’m asking—like, play it through to the end. It could be awkward if you declined to submit them and then they got hired anyway, unless you would in fact be prepared to try to veto. Why not submit them with whatever you’d say if you were asked about them?