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……isn’t that what every boss should strive for?
I’m a SM and I see those who report to me as the leaders of their teams - I am there to support, guide, help them get recognized for their successes and help them through failures if needed.
Sounds like your boss is insecure.
I'd say "I'd love to look to transition the stretch responsibilities I've been doing (free of charge) back to you by end of the month. Let me know when we can set up time to discuss a transition plan to see how you can lean more into your role as our manager"
Subject Expert
As frustrating as the situation is there is not much you can say in your defense. Ask how you can better support him and focus on your job and responsibilities - don’t let his insecurities impact your livelihood. The problem is his to solve not yours.
Lol well I see my coworker as a leader sometimes. She crazy good at her job and she’s a great person all together. But it also sounds like your boss is just a bit insecure. He shouldn’t take it personally. You should respond by telling him he has built quality people on his team. So, it’s a really a compliment to his leadership. Plus, it takes stress and work away from him. Personally, nothing would make me happier than the growth of my team and their successful collaboration.
I’d look for another boss. This might turn into a game that you might not win. It’s obvious this person needs executive coaching. If he wants to be seen as a leader, he might as well start acting like one. As his subordinate it is NOT your job to train/coach him. It is also absolutely NOT warranted that you should start acting *less* of a leader to your team? In simplest terms, “dim your [leadership] light” so he feels more like a leader next to you. WHAT?!
The immediate response that I’d do here is to say, “That’s an interesting observation. How would you like to move forward?”
You do not apologize for being a leader. You literally ask him to lead now. How does he suggest you two navigate this scenario.
But if, as he responds, you realize he is in effect asking you to diminish your role, to be seen less than anything, you have to decide for yourself what this means for you and act accordingly.
How can you talk to this person (your boss) about your accomplishments when you need to negotiate a bonus, a raise, etc, if he doesn’t want you to be accomplished, because you overshadow him?
This situation is absolutely not fun. Sending you lots of love & strength. ❤️ The great thing is that it sounds like your team must have your back! ❤️❤️❤️
Happened to me as well. Throughout my overall team (my team plus 4 other teams under the same director but different direct managers) saw me as a senior team member who was the go to for just about everything. I ran my direct team's team meetings, did the onboarding of new members and was involved in long term strategy meetings while the other team members did more of the day to day tasks. I did all this because my direct manager let me run her team because she was an amazing leader. She left the company and enter new manager who was a relatively new people manager. She took most of my extra responsibilities away and admitted it was because she needed everyone to know she was the manager and not me. Rookie move IMO.
The new boss maybe feeling inadequate at the moment or maybe looking for your assistance in helping them take their position firmly with the group. Personally having leader on the team is amazing and I think that the boss should not be worried about you being seen as a leader but about finding their way to establish a connection to all individuals in the group.
Being an SME and managing humans aren’t necessarily the same skill set …. Being a peer mentor is a thing.
It’s MY thing :)
And my boss appreciates it, because she’s busy doing what her job actually is.
Can you try to show your boss that people seeing you as a leader/reference is great because if you and he are on the same page it just reinforces his initiatives/messaging. Plus he's new and you can help be the bridge without him having to start from scratch.
Basically this is great news for him and you can help him see that.
It's not your problem. He's new and he needs to prove himself.
OP, you’ve gotten some really good advice already and I only have one thing to add to mitigate your risk
Please look for another role *right now*
Ask for a promotion to your boss’ job. Sounds slimey but if you were a man and boss was a woman they wouldn’t bat an eye at this.
“I need to schedule a meeting with you to discuss proper compensation for the additional responsibilities that I have been fulfilling due to lack of leadership higher up. Though I am getting a better response from my team than my superior, these responsibilities and tasks are beyond my contractual obligation. How can we look into transitioning myself into this position?”
Corporate lingo for “my boss sucks and I’m doing their job better than them and not getting paid for it”
Perspective change… what if the employee that everyone is using as a reference can’t get their own job done and done well due to being the “unofficial” team leader?
I always have said, when you're in the presence of a manager, you know they're important. When you're in the presence of a Leader, you feel important. Always strive to lead, empower your team to be part of their role.
This literally does nothing to help the OP