2 cons were talking with me and one accused me of derailing every conv topic he brought up. I can’t tell if I changed the topic or if the topics were so far off for me I brought up the closest tangent

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I wouldn’t go as far as saying plan what you’re going to say but try to be aware of the topic on hand and don’t stray too far from it. That said, it’s certainly possible that this person gets stuck in the minutia of the topic while you look more at the big picture (or the other way around 😆)

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Op- I have that same issue...

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Sounds like you're focusing in on topics/subjects that aren't important to what they're trying to convey. Maybe sit back and listen a bit more before jumping in? Just to get some more banter back and forth between others before you jump in?

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Jokes and puns. I spend the time to think about clever things to say that is funny on the surface but can have much deeper meanings if you opt to pay attention.

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OP, just want to say to me it sounds like you may only be half listening to what others say because you think there are better things to talk about. And that may make some people think you’re a dick

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I think so differently. I wonder how thoughts I interpret one way are consistently perceived otherwise

I’m starting to think my concentration is poor or that I have a diminished ability to relate.

I don’t know. I sometimes feel that what they’re saying is so dull that I could pick a topic tangentially related that I find interesting and expand. Or maybe I can change the topic so my brain won’t atrophy. If i listen intensely, and they’re not having an inclusive conversation, what can I really do other than changing the topic except stay quiet?

Try and take that as an opportunity to tied what you want to say back to what they are talking about. It definitely takes some concentration and practice but I see that as self development and has become a good skill to be able to relate to people

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