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Bowl Leader
PwC 🐠, I interviewed with the firm about 6 months ago for a Senior Associate position on the forensics team. I wasn’t extended an offer because the position was given to an internal transfer, at least what I was told. I tried reaching out to the recruiter I worked with last time but the email bounced back and wouldn’t be delivered. I was hoping to see / reapply if the group still was looking for seniors.
In your opinion, would it be best to reapply as a cold application?
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Rising Star
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Drinking helps but it’s not healthy lol
Pro
You worry about the unknown. So make it know.
What are the various things that COULD happen? Write them down and get them out of your head. Pressure not fully relieved? Ok, what steps would you take if any of those scenarios came to pass? Now rank the scenarios in order of likeliness. Take some defensive measures against the items most likely to occur.
You don’t need a perfect plan for every contingency. You just need to have faith in your competency to call an audible and execute.
After 2 decades of that I finally decided the $$ wasn’t worth it. I stayed way too long. Took a pay cut and career change and when I log off I can honestly say I don’t think of my job until I log in for the next work day.
I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, tbh
Someone said this earlier about exercise and I have to agree. Walking 4-5 times per week for at least 30 minutes each walk helps a lot. Walking is one of the body’s natural stress relievers. I think that you should walk in an environment where there are other people like trails, the beach, the neighborhood, parks, etc. Don’t walk in isolation.
Psychologically, humans need each other. We are social beings. So to go out and mingle with other people outside of law helps your brain.
Lastly, I would say to pray about your stressors. Ask the Lord to rest your mind and guide you in your work. He will give you peace!
Amen!!!
Have you tried marijuana cigarettes
Marihuana
Hey. You gotta put your mind at ease and rest. And the best way to directly train your mind is to meditate. Try to listen to the sounds around you and become aware of the spaces around you, and that will help you stay in the moment (being present).
Do you have a solid support system at work? Paralegal and stuff that you can confidently say is reliable to assist with “unexpected blowbacks/emergencies?” I find that that was what made me paralyzed with stress and worry. Not the emergency/blowback itself, but that I was in it alone.
Couldn’t agree more. My firm is growing and I’m the only person who can handle certain matters and of course those are the cases I am most anxious about. I have much higher stakes matters that I don’t sweat over because I’m working with amazing team. What has helped a bit is investing some time in educating my support staff on these cases. What would help more is having someone more senior to rely on when I get stuck so I would also recommend seeking out some kind of mentor or talking to your supervisor about how they can support you. I usually frame those chats as a check in where I ask for feedback and weave in things that are helpful to me
Start reading the stoics. I’m not stoic by nature, but living that philosophy, to me, in business and law, makes it easier to have a clear executive mind. And the working out advice another poster said is really key as well.
go workout
i guess i am speaking from privilege since i have my own setup and work remote
I’ve been taking a weekly pottery class for 4 years. Helps a ton.
This. A scheduled hobby that you prioritize.
I joined a choir with weekly practices. My phone is on silent and I’m with other people doing something I enjoy for a couple of hours every week. I always feel like I don’t have time before I go, but I’m always so happy to have gone after. It was the first step in helping me learn to set boundaries and having something besides work be a priority in my life.
There is no one solution for everyone. From what you describe, this may not be the best career choice for you. Life is too short to feel such feelings on a regular basis. Ask yourself what’s important. Once values are in place, decisions follow.
I workout daily - it doesn’t resolve this issue, which I have experienced all too much. Also a decade plus into this game and it’s gotten worse. Having junior support and paralegals doesn’t do it. Drinking of course isn’t the answer. Switching jobs is - love that post above by the in-house counsel bc it shows that it is the job and not us us. This job is a temporary life phase - reminding myself of that is what gets me through this. Hang in there, OP.
Learn to compartmentalize. It’s just a job. You need to have time and space away from the job. Do not put your spouse/family as a second priority.
Exactly. If you aren't the owner or getting equity, you shouldn't be on call. Even if you were the owner or getting equity, you still have the right to a life considering work will replace you before your body is even cold. You aren't nearly that replaceable to family members.
I’ve been experiencing a similar feeling at my current firm. I can’t find peace, I take work home with me. It started to heavily affect my life. Id cry to my partner about how stressed I am, how mistreated I am, and how I “don’t want to do this anymore”. Yesterday, I quit my job! I never felt more free. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Though I felt sad and guilty leaving my team, I had to put myself first, and they supported me. I’m excited to see what will come next, even if it is a pay cut. I had no work-life balance, and it was making me insane. How much longer are you going to let your job be your life? Time is flying by. You want to be present for the moments you have left.
This is an occupational hazard. It doesn't stop until you retire.
Medication. I didn’t love the idea of it but it’s worth it to have my life back. Buspirone has been a game-changer for me.
Therapy could help
Literally the same, I walk every morning, 30 minutes at an incline (walking outdoors isn’t my thing)
I’m in therapy; was on medication (probably should get back on).
Still, always my head on a swivel, wondering when the next shoe is going to drop.
Seems like you suffer from excessive Anxiety
Get some therapy and just learn to live in the moment and learn to trust that all is good. How you are living is not healthy.
And in Law School, we thought analysis paralysis would be the biggest hamstring. Take heart- set aside some time and do something for yourself... just yourself don’t worry if the world will understand.