Any examples of when setting boundaries or advocating for yourself backfired? In a stressful situation, so trying to strike the right balance here.

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Sorry to hear that! This seems like a great time to connect w/a co-worker/acct lead who's been in similar scenarios. Always good to have a sounding board to validate/understand your stressors.

People make strange decisions when they're stressed. Whether it's turning a mole hill into a mountain bc of an email's tone or maybe there's a misunderstanding over SLAs/deliverables and you feel like you're being chewed out. Try to get to the bottom of what's substantially true in your situation as opposed to the style it's being communicated in. It'll free your mind to focus on constructive solutions as opposed to an ego-defending mind spiral.

Only goin w/this hippy talk bc it sounds like you're about to hit send on an angrily-crafted email and looking for someone to "hold me back!!" by searching for real-world ex for when hitting send backfired..

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I just reached the 1 year mark working at a job without taking any vacation time or sick time. Lately the workload has been tremendous and then over the last month I was having breakdowns and had serious conversations with my boss about leaving.

I took a week vacation and it really did reset everything. I also had applied at another job and had several interviews but I think helped me realize a new job would be stressful in different ways. And so that helped reframe everything too.

Not sure if any of this helps - but basically take breaks, communicate with people who can help, and seriously consider your options!

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If setting boundaries backfires, it means you were dealing with toxic people and a toxic environment.

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I guess it comes down to your perspective on what constitutes backfiring. I did set a firm boundary with my boss during my maternity leave that I would not be working during that time, and he tried to worm his way into getting me to work by constantly messaging me with questions, needing help, guidance for the person filling in for me, etc. I stayed firm and when I returned, I was shunned by him and other management. But it showed me that where I was wasn't where I wanted or needed to be. It helped me make a move that I am now deeply thankful I did.

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Yes and there was major retaliation

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Setting boundaries will only backfire in a toxic work environment. Everyone should be able to respect boundaries

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This happened to me when my boss actually got upset because I ask her not to message me outside of office hours so she started being passive aggressive and excluding me from conversations

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What’s the situation and is it with your own employer or a client?

Simple things like taking off evenings after 6,or even after 7. Taking on an increasing workload as members leave the team. Fielding client calls at all hours. Feels like a slippery slope.

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