{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Any good recommendations for parenting 101? Looking to educate myself on the major schools of thought and parenting styles and figuring out what might work for me (baby’s not here yet). Thank you!", "post_id": "5e15e0562fb31d0028065fa2", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "599aea2d2a4d83001641590b", "bowl_name": "Consulting Dads" }

Any good recommendations for parenting 101? Looking to educate myself on the major schools of thought and parenting styles and figuring out what might work for me (baby’s not here yet). Thank you!

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Here's just some overall tips for having a baby from a father of 5. Forgive the randomness of the suggestions, but at this point my mind does not work in a linear fashion when I am at home. It's okay to kick back in a recliner and take a nap with your baby asleep on your chest. Best type of bonding at that age. And a good way to catch up on some sleep. For baby accessories such as crib and car seat, buy what works for you, not the latest trend or something just to impress your friends or family. You don't need an $800 stroller when a $100 one will do. Also for the above purposes, buy gender neutral if you can. Yes that pretty pink car seat looks nice for your daughter, but will you put your son in it when he is born two years later? Save money and reuse when you can. The baby does not care what color seat they have. Wipe warmers are a waste of money. You going to have one with you when you go to someone's house or out to eat? Target/costco/bj's wipes and diapers work just as well as the name brands. It's okay to use formula if needed. Support the child's mother/SO any way you can and give her breaks when needed. Use whatever leave options you have available with your company to the max. The world will not end and the project will survive without you until you return. Don't travel if you don't have to. Accenture has a one year no travel for parents of newborns, and other companies may as well. You're a consultant so you are already used to a lack of sleep. It will be worse. Don't use baby talk when speaking to a baby. Use a normal voice. This helps the baby learn speech and language better. I use a standard backpack for a diaper bag. You can use both straps and have 2 free hands. I just put everything in ziploc bags to keep them organized. Avoid footie sleepers with snaps. They are the worst when trying to change them. Immunize!!!!! Have fun! Make up and sing silly songs, dance around with the baby, smile and laugh! Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Most of all, do what feels right for you and your SO, not what others tell you, especially family and friends. I know that is kind of hypocritical of everything I said above, but it will cause less stress. Good luck!

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Second the comment on snaps! Zippers all the way

Art of War

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Here's some more. Take your baby everywhere. They will cry, put up a fuss and smell. They're babies, not something that is embarrassing. Other people will deal with it. Our first baby went out with us for pizza (us not him) when he was a week old. Shoes on infants are just plain stupid. Do they really need $50 Nike sneakers or Timberland boots? No, they don't. Same for clothes. Being in the US we got most of the babies clothes from Kohls and Walmart. They outgrow them fast. Go to doctors visits and well checks. Doctors will answer any question, and no matter how insignificant you may think it is, ask it. Don't drink alcohol, use stimulants or any other things to help you get by. It will only make things worse. Just get help. And keep an eye on your SO for signs of postpartum depression and get her help if needed. Do not delay. Don't have a quiet house. Babies will sleep through most noise. Our 5th slept through me vacuuming right next to the crib, and his older siblings running around screaming. If they wake up, they wake up. No big deal. Again, have fun and good luck!

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5!

I subscribe to the school of thought that everyone finds their groove, no book can teach you how to be what your kids need. Love them. Protect them. Teach them.

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I think that’s probably true, but I’m a planner and like to prep for things! Also I do think there are certain areas where frameworks (for the lack of a better word) can be helpful in reducing uncertainty and anxiety about how to react to certain situations. Attachment theory is one example of a framework that my sister has found very helpful.

OP, The biggest thing new dads need to know is how to change a diaper and when to give their partner a much needed break. You’ll do great, but if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to reach out.

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“Brain rules for baby” is full of great research based advice (yet is quite poorly written). I think you should definitively give it a read.

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“Coming home with your newborn” is a great place to start

My wife researched a few parenting schools of thought - she looked into Montessori, Waldorf, attachment parenting, etc. (There were more, but I can't remember). We are now a completely Montessori family. And it's been working well for us! We now have a 15 month old and she's potty trained (we did this thing called elimination communication), eats by herself, drinks out of an open glass, and has started helping us around the house (unloading the dishwasher, wiping up her spills, etc.). So we're giving 50% credit to the kiddo, and 50% to the parenting technique! Montessori from the start is a great resource.

Montessori from the Start Diaper-free Baby (if you're interested in elimination communication) The Montessori Toddler (for later on)

Our hospital had free baby101 courses.

Don’t drop it

Check this: https://www.ourkids.net/school/montessori-vs-waldorf-reggio-emilia

Most useful advice we were given by the paediatrician: "In case of doubt and when you don't know what to do, trust the mother's instinct. Evolution has making sure kids survive with mother's care for thousands of year. Medicine keeps evolving and what was right 20 years ago, was wrong 10 years ago, and now we don't know"

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