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I really don’t recommend this. I was forced to do this during Covid for 8 months and honestly it drove us nuts. I worked at the oddest hours when baby slept and I was burnt at all ends. I felt like a failure at both jobs (mom and attorney) and didn’t think it was fair to my clients. If you can get help, do it. Once daycare opened, off he went and he’s thriving! Loves his little friends and mom and dad are sane again. Lol.
Rising Star
1) Get help or daycare. You absolutely cannot do this long term.
2) while you are figuring that out, set a schedule for who is in charge of Baby at set times during the day. Maybe one parent in is charge from 6 am - 8 am, while the other gets ready. Then switch from 8 until noon so that one parent can work hard and have a set time for calls. Then together for lunch, then switch from 1-5 so the other can work hard and have calls. 5-7, baby’s dinner and bedtime, then you both can work as needed until bedtime.
3) sleep train so that baby is consistently sleeping well for 12 hours through the night. This gives you time to rest yourselves and also get more work done.
4) Meal prep heavily on the weekends so as little time as possible is spent doing it during the week. Laundry on the weekends too.
It’s going to be very tough. Be kind and understanding with each other and you will get through it. Take any reliable help you can get.
My fiancé and I are currently doing this and have since I went back to work when she was 8 weeks old (she will be 20M this month).
It’s definitely not easy and takes massive coordination. We still bump heads on some days but neither of our work has suffered, I’ve even been promoted in this time. I’ve been transparent with my bosses so that if I do have to go off camera in a meeting or they hear her playing in the background it’s not an issue.
She is a lot more busy these days and so we will likely look at childcare soon but it’s not impossible.
You will be exhausted by the end of the workday but i haven’t missed a moment in her development and it’s been worth it even though it’s been hard.
Pro
Good luck. It’ll work for a while but then you will need help. If you don’t have calls at the same time you can respond to baby needs but that kids schedule going to keep changing and you just have to react.
Rising Star
If you really can’t afford full time daycare, then perhaps at least consider a part time babysitter, like a high school or college aged neighbor who can come over a couple hours a couple times a week. Otherwise, it just depends on each of your work schedules and how much flexibility you have to work off hours or if you have mostly scheduled calls. If your workday is fairly scheduled, then you just trade off work and baby. Maybe couple hours shifts or one does mornings and one does afternoons. It really depends on the nature of your workdays.
The only way I would see it happening successfully is if you have somewhat opposite shifts. At least while the baby is so small. Like someone works 7am-3pm (take a needed nap in there) and other spouse works 3pm-11pm. Maybe schedules can collide for 2-3 hours too, but each one of you need full hours of focus time individually on your shifts while the other takes care of the baby.
I couldn’t concentrate at all when I returned to work post mat-leave and was in the same apartment as my 4 month old. Daddy was on paternity leave so watching him full time. You won’t be able to work the whole day, at all. That’s my advice. Maybe while the baby is sleeping, but that’s it. And you’ll be exhausted.
Chief
If one of you can stop working till the child is in kindergarten, that’s the way to roll.
Rising Star
Everybody else working with kids pays for daycare why would you expect it to be any different for yourself?
It’s clear some people get on here to dump their frustrations with their own life on other people. It literally cost nothing to not be rude and condescending to people you don’t even know