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No advise, I'm 19 weeks and have the same timing concerns. I'd like to wait until my review is finalized at end of Dec but not sure if it's reasonable to wait that long. Been with my boss 3 years but do not feel she's friendly to parents.
I wanted to give an update that I told my manager and it went so well! Glad it’s over and now I can relax and not feel like I’m hiding. Good luck to anyone else who’s about to deliver the news!
I dropped a quick meeting on my manager’s calendar and told them I wanted to share some personal news.
For direct reports, I did the same and told them individually. For full teams, I mentioned it at an existing status meeting.
Something a former colleague of mine did was to say, “now don’t feel obliged to keep this a secret. The more people you tell, the less people I have to.” Which I thought was funny and took the pressure off her.
I didn’t give them a song and dance about career commitment. I did drop “when I return from leave” into conversation regularly enough that they knew I was definitely returning, though.
I completely understand you...was in the same boat. I waited for my promotion to come through officially and told my manager around 23 weeks. He had to plan resources so asked me if it was okay to share the news in the planning discussions. I told some of my teammates in 1-1 calls and the team in the daily standup as a courtesy
Partner asked for the team to travel but I didn't want to so mentioned it to the Manager that I'm expecting. He is not married with no kids so he got curious as to how far along was I and asked me to educate him a bit so that he could be supportive, for instance I told him late night assignments would not be easier now. Generally people ask about the due date, how you're doing and gender.
I'm planning to share after our 20w anatomy scan in December as I feel that's the latest that makes sense to preserve the relationships I've worked so hard to build. My plan is to hope for the best and be prepared to change jobs if my career appears to stall due to pregnancy. They've given me no reason to expect the worst so I don't want to damage my existing relationships based on a pessimistic assumption. Also don't intend to be blindly optimistic. If there is a problem, I'm going to fix it on the back end.
The way I see it, trying to time notice to avoid bias is a bandaid to a small part of what would be a long term problem. If it manifests, I want a permanent solution. If it doesn't, I don't want to create a perception of distrust where it wasn't needed.
Sounds like a good plan. I just had my anatomy scan yesterday and that’d be my reasoning as well. I agree about preserving the relationship. My company and team specifically has been going through tumultuous times though which is why I’m feeling so nervous. Good luck to you!
I told my manager pretty quickly, but I have a very trusted relationship with him.
With regards to other coworkers, I’ll probably wait until I’m seven or eight months pregnant. I recently had the harsh realization that some people will treat you differently when they learn you’re pregnant. So, if you don’t want people to treat you like you’re made out of porcelain, keep it on the down low for those who don’t need to know.
Adding that my manager is new so I don’t have a rapport with him just yet.
I didn’t share until I was over 6 months pregnant, I waited until after my annual performance reviews were done before notifying anyone due to how the timing fell I felt it was better to wait just in case it might impact them.
No, but I work at a big 4 firm and have a large team
I booked a meeting. I was throwing up so much it was affecting my performance and timeliness so I was just like, “you should know…”
Also it’s illegal for it to affect your pay, etc., unless if you aren’t working as much so you don’t get the experience you need for promo. Companies are usually pretty careful though.