Any tips on getting myself laid off within a month?

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Just wanted to share that I completely missed the word “off” on my first reading of this. I have no advice for either scenario.

likefunny

Here’s a suggestion that worked for a former colleague of mine. Set up a meeting with HR and talk about how the company’s and teams goals no longer align with what was promised when you joined. Discuss a "suitable separation arrangement”.

likehelpful

@P1 same here, was at a loss on first read through and still coming up short

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Do you care about your criminal record?

likefunny

The industry is smaller than you think. Dunno if it’s worth it unless you don’t plan on coming back to consulting

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Even if you don’t bill any hours I think you’ll still be around in a month.

I don’t know how one would get laid off come to think of it, maybe consistently deny work and mouth off.

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Take a dump in the middle of the office...or vomit in the middle of a client meeting (whatever happened to that person?)

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Are you the senior I just rolled off my project?

likefunny

To be laid-off you have to be on the bench for probably 3-4 months, so don't see this happening within 4 weeks.

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Pull the scene from Fight Club when Edward Norton goes into his bosses office and goes off.

funny

Wait there’s a difference between laid off b/c of business and fired b/c u did something bad. I’m the latter u usually don’t get severance

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LOL.
No way you can do it in a month and get a severance. The only stuff that gets you out in a month implies cause for termination, which is not eligible for a severance. If you widen that time window though, just do everything you can to stay on the bench for about 2-4 months and it'll happen.
AP1s suggestion is very interesting and possible depending on the firm, but risky because it might preclude you from the suggestion I just made, if they want to screw you. Kind of like asking for forgiveness vs permission...

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Alix1 - Yes I do, I also want my severance to be paid to me

Only way it’s happening is if you sexually assault people. It’s like impossible to get fired

Screw up at the clients?

C2 - not coming back to consulting. DD1 - wish I had the balls to do that.

Sleep off at the clients and get caught

Still a virgin ?

But why

😂😂😂following

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