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My father taught me well. Don't lend money to family you aren't willing to let go and not ever get back.
@OP: A lesson I learned the difficult way. You can't make them do the right thing with the money. I just stopped lending to people because it would make me resentful that I wasn't getting Sbux too.
I'm sorry you're going through that OP....To this day, I still haven't told my parents how much I make. I'm afraid I'll be in the same situation as you. We should be able to trust our parents.
Is it possible to pay bills directly for them? No idea if that's a good idea, have not had experience here. But if you are giving money to help with bills, going straight to the non-discretionary bills is a way to control how they spend it. However, not sure the exit strategy. Sorry you are going through this OP. I imagine it can't be easy.
My dad owes me $25k for a combination of personal loans and propping up two different businesses of his. I'd try to let it go but he told me all along (and still does) that he'll pay me back, and he taught me all along word is your bond soooo
And before it comes up, I've paid for my own school and car and even gave them said car with insurance payments. Sorry for the rant y'all
My parents are not good with money and as such, I learned the hard way, but learned!
My Dad lent me money in a bind once when I was in college, and so I returned the favor (x10) years later and feared I would not see the funds again. He ultimately had my brother pay me back on his behalf, and made payments to my brother for a couple years.
As A1 said, you can't make them do the right thing with money. But know that it is not your responsibility to teach them, (nor do they want you to) nor bail them out, and you don't need to feel guilty about that.
SC1 is right on for not discussing income level with family when they are not good wth money - it just opens doors for a desperate (however good intentioned) loan request.
A2 i agree; same reason why I offer to buy food for some of the homeless people I come across haha. I do make direct payments to the bills and transfer to their bank account if anything extra is asked for.
A2 - I do that. I've taken over a few bills to help them out. Now, I'm in a different situation than OP in the sense that they paid for most of my undergrad (other than standard federal loans), so I have no problem helping out now.
Thanks for your perspectives everyone. True words M1 - I am looking at these contributions as gifts and not loans. EY1, I'm almost in the same boat as you (and approaching that amount). I'm just afraid if I flat out say no to them, they may actually lose their house as they're always short for the bills each month. Have also tried to cut down where I could on their cable, cell bills and other frivolous purchases.