Queer Gals & Non-Binary Pals (And More!)

Anyone make significantly more than their partner? I am feeling the pressure of being the breadwinner..wanted to gain some perspective from others.

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Yep. I am breadwinner for my SO and our son.

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Definitely a pressure in terms of progression. If I don’t do well we’ve made the wrong bet career wise which is scary. But at the same time I am very driven and this gives me permission to be that - eg if we need to move countries then we can do that at short notice because career is the priority, vs other couples where there would need to be more compromise due to the other person’s career.

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Yes! gf is amazing and quit her job last year to work on a start up. Makes zero money right now, which for us isn’t a problem. I’ve found in the past that I don’t mind if partners make less than me, but I do really mind if they aren’t driven/passionate about what they do!

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I found that a way to help make things feel more equal is if the other person contributes in more non money-earning ways like running errands, etc. Not to say that everything should be delegated like that (don't need that expectation) but it certainly helps start a conversation about contributing in an equitable manner! 😊 For example, my partner helps me to hem my pants while I am busy working late and it is extremely helpful. Money isn't the only output of labor, and all labor can be appreciated in the same way!

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Oh good question! My partner and I are waiting several more years for that, but I can see the dilemma... since kids are an investment for the both of you, maybe something you can do is break out all of the estimated costs (requiring money or other forms of labor) and determine how to divide them up amongst yourselves in a fair way!

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