Hi all, my ten-year-old recently informed us that they’re non-binary. I raised my kids on queer culture so I’m actually kinda proud. I’m not non-binary myself though so I don’t know how it feels to be 10 years old and NB. How did you feel at that age? Any advice for a parent?

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I’m trans feminine. And I always knew. So I think in some ways I might be able to relate. Puberty (around age 11-12) was an especially difficult period where nobody understood me and it felt like I was massively betrayed by nature.

I’m so so proud of you for how supportive you are of your child. They really just need you to accept them as they are, and not change how you treat them. School can be difficult and they may get bullied and picked on for being NB, and you’ll need to really be there for them if/when it happens.

And then there are medical interventions you might want to discuss with them to delay puberty, and give them time to mature and decide whether they want it. Because there is so much that happens to their body that’s not in their control.

My two cents, based on what I would’ve liked to have from my parents.

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Thank you, that’s really helpful. They’re definitely in the puberty fast lane now, and so far they’re very comfortable with their body changes. I hope their self-acceptance carries them through.

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I didn't fully realize I was non-binary until my teens but had no labels for it. Once I did I went back and forth many times and kept talking myself out of it.

The pandemic gave me the self isolation to finally come to terms with it.

My advice is to just respect and accept them. If they want a name change, pronoun change, honor that.

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