Do you feel explicitly femme / butch / futch / stud ? I feel like I’m not femme or butch and I’d be more butch personality wise in a relationship but definitely more of a futch / soft butch physically? Getting a better handle on this might make me better able to find the right folks for me, dating wise... I know some people are super strict about their “type”

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Honestly I wish those types can just go away. People assume I am femme by my appearance but I don't feel very feminine and I don't act like a stud/butch either. I have dated a wide variety of people and given how small the dating pool is I wish people can be more open minded

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i am definitely mostly soft butch but i don’t feel constrained by it- i’ll wear a dress and glam up if i feel like it. my girlfriend is pretty much the same. i haven’t really met many women who are SUPER strict about their type but i know they’re out there. i don’t think falling into a category is required to date or even necessarily makes it easier

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I’m butch, but wear earring to throw people off sometimes! I would say what is your type and not really focus on the butch/femme. My wife can be very femme, and at work she is all girl, but weekends she is in jeans and my shirts or T-shirts. It’s not the wrapper but what’s inside that matters.
I guess what we my saying is don’t play into the whole butch/femme game. Do what makes you happy!

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I feel like a lot of the queer women I mean in nyc bounce around night by night or wouldn’t fall into a category. sometimes dress in baggier clothes but have my hair in clips etc. I don’t think I immediately fall into a category above either. However there are a few categories I’m def not :) so who knows

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That’s a good way to put it - there are for sure categories i don’t identify with

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This is such a Pandora’s box of a question for me. As a toe in the water of transition 🏳️‍⚧️🙅🏻‍♀️ (low dose hrt going on 6mos..), I’ve struggled to understand these labels as I try to figure out where I fit in generally. I’m squarely female attracted (and female partnered and desiring to stay so), so I have really spent a lot of time and energy to try to unpack fem, masc, butch, etc as I try to figure out how I define as a (trans) woman (and I struggle to avoid the word struggle, lol).

My huge realization is that a lot of our labels are intended to be descriptive but end up limiting us.

Easy for me to say as I have already found my soulmate. ✌🏻

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