Can someone advise how to be better at saying no? Feel like it’s so tricky and I struggle to just say no and become a yes man. Inside and outside of work

likehelpful
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I also like ",that would be false expectations on your part"

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I find #2 to be most effective. Give them a blank stare until they finally walk away to ask someone else.

likefunny

Change for one day to auto say no to EVERYTHING. Then gradually bring in yeses as needed. Extreme, but Worth trying! I personally just always take a sec to think before saying yes, or say yes to part of an ask/give a longer turnaround time to ensure I don't have too much at once.

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Just say yes to things that move you forward, and no to things that are a time suck with no benefit

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Saying ‘No’ comes more naturally as one becomes more confident and knowledgeable in their line of work, in my opinion.

For example, most (if not all) new associates are “Yes! Sure! You got it!” all the way. Managers are more realistic with expectations and requests but still try to please the partners. Partners are either “no, can’t, or.. maybe I’ll get to it next week”.

As long as you’re knowledgeable, I believe you can say NO from the beginning as an associate, as long as you back it up with realistic expectations. Trust me, this is appreciated much more than if you say “Yes” and never do/finish the work.

Good luck!

likesmart

I suspect that there may be a bit of a hierarchal influence thing going on there.

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When u find out lmk. I have this problem as well and it 20/10 leads to a ‘why didn’t you just say no?’

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Therapy

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Have you read I feel guilty when I say no? Helped me someone recommended it on here actually

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553263900/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_idk7EbGGWGAQT

I said yes to 4:20. No is a no no.

funny

Are u 4.20 right now Director?

How about before “yes” or “no,” ask “what are your expectations?” Probe for deadline, expected duration (for bill by the hour folks), and the like.

I use this to flesh out (and flush out) requests that are mere time wasters, someone else’s “ugh, I don’t want to do this,” easy quick hits (that may sound difficult), and my boss typically (but not always) likes that I am actively managing my own “business.”

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Practice

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I mean this is really it. I’m not great at it myself yet but I’m getting better. I started answering requests with questions like “when do you need it by?” And “can I get to it next week?” When my boss asked me to do one more thing I’d ask “is this a higher priority than x y z tasks I’m working on?” What this did by itself was start getting people to think maybe they were imposing on my “yes” attitude. Now the people around me are asking if I have time/capacity instead of just asking me to do it, which makes it a LOT easier to say no if I need to, because then I’m just stating a factual answer to their question at that point.

likehelpful

No.

If you can't say no say yes but and make the but inconvenient enough they'll ask someone else.

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