Conference call horror stories, go!
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Was whispering to my gf how beautiful she is next to me. Wasn't on mute. 3 partners on that one. Senior Manager jumped in and saved me.
Another time, on a call with clinets while doing a screen share, a Senior 3 sends a ping to the Manager (who is sharing his screen!) stating "These people are so dumb! Why do they not understand this? No wonder why they have to bring EY in. Pathetic." After the meeting, the SM pulled him aside. Never saw him on the project again. To be honest though, those people really were idiots.
Client joined call late. Then started vomiting while in the phone.
Well this didn't happen on a call but the partner was dialing the conference number and messed up one of the digits, it was on speaker so we could all hear it and turns out he called a phone sex hotline.
Mideast offices on the line to discuss some screwups their people had made. US Partner waltzes in to confernece room and immediately starts making derogatory remarks about the region, "it's a hellhole and we should have just glassed 'em all", etc. Line on our end was not muted.
Awkward.
Industry group call: the industry leader was talking and suddenly we can all hear a male voice saying: “honey, bring this naked a*s here” or something to that nature. There were no women on that particular call...
Toilet flush someone forgot to mute
About 10 years ago, big virtual team call. One of the attendees commenting throughout under her breath "God, what a bitch" whenever her boss spoke. Thought she was on mute. She was fired the next day.
Was in a bathroom and it automatically flushed when I was talking
Was on a national audit quality call with about 200 other people and some kid forgot to mute his phone and a buddy stopped in his office. They were talking about wild and crazy college parties and running from the cops and getting arrested. All the sudden you just someone go running into his office and go "dude" and then you hear "oh shit......" then silence.
Definitely been on a conference call while boning.
One time I was coaching a bunch of students in a case competition sponsored by the firm with some other KPMG folks and we were meeting over lync every week. So I had this guy over at my place and he was critiquing one of the students’ hairstyles (mind you the end goal was to recruit them) and the KPMG leader IMed me “we can hear you”
Was on the webcast, a ton of people dialed in to listen to the Corporate new training. Luckily, I muted myself, but throughout this training this piano music was playing quietly, but incredibly distracting, so I started to shoot messages in the Q&A box to see if they could turn the music off...no answer...it became more aggravating, eventually, I wrote in “For Pete’s sake, somebody turn that music off!” It wasn’t until my 4th or 5th message into the universe that I realized I had opened youtube on a different tab on my laptop and it was me playing the music. Talking about a George Costanza, Lord of the idiots, moment!
My clients are way too comfortable with me. I was on a PBC call with the VP of Finance, and, midway through my question, I hear him start to urinate. I start laughing and then he starts laughing because he realizes I can hear him, but he can't just stop the stream. So, there's an awkward four more seconds of him pressure washing the urinal cake. Then silence....I start, "sooooo how 'bout that equity rollforward?"
Partner dialed into a client call on the side of the road after getting pulled over by the cops for speeding.
Joining them
Welp, that took a depressing turn
Pregnant client with morning sickness violently vomiting with 8-10 of us on the call listening in.
The CFO of a large company started talking shit about how incompetent the CFO of the company he was acquiring was, not realizing they were both on the phone. The after math that followed was very awkward to listen to.
Got distracted and forgot I had a conference call starting (I was working from home and decided to go outside and didn’t bring my phone, lol). I had the leader code so everyone was just hanging on the line waiting for me to start the call Failed to start the conference call. Several client folks, 2 partners, couple managers. Yup, that was pretty great.