Found out my husband is seeing someone from his work. Would I be in the wrong if I emptied out our joint accounts before confronting him? I know that sounds petty but I feel like he should experience some of the pain he is causing me.

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Talk to a lawyer first

likesmart

Consult a lawyer but typically this behavior is viewed very negatively in family court, because yes it is petty… if you take $50k out of joint accounts that will be adjusted during the final asset division. If anything, I would withdraw up to 50% and moving it to an account in your own name but again talk to a lawyer as this is all varies.

Reminder that you have a prenup no matter what - it’s the state prenup for the you were married in or the one you negotiated (assuming you live in the US).

If you’re a good partner, losing you will be enough pain. There is more peace in taking care of yourself and focusing on moving forward than there ever will be in looking backwards or trying to do something to even the score. I’m sorry you’re going through this - lean on your friends and find a therapist if you don’t have one already.

likesmart

What’s your end game? If you take the cash then divorce, courts will look poorly on you. I am sorry for what you’re going through.

like

Were there issues going on outside of the cheating? Did you feel like you both were solid? There’s obviously a lack of trust now but do you feel like you still know him as a person? If there’s any connection there, I feel like it warrants a conversation to determine why this person you care about would do something so hurtful and betray you/your marriage. That being said, I agree you should speak to a lawyer first if divorce is on your mind.

helpful

Take half, and put a big tack under his tyre. Tell him, watch as he can’t leave without acting like a mechanic. As he bends over doing the tyre put your pointiest stilettos on and accidentally tread on his fingers on the driveway.
Go back in and call a locksmith while he looks for the locking wheel nut, change the door lock and pop the chilling champagne and **** the locksmith.

like

Just FYI: we've been together for five years, married three, no kids to worry about.

It’s a bit crazy to just tell strangers on the internet this….

Strangers who don't know me, and can't find out who I am. So venting and asking questions here is safe?

Confront him first.

You run the risk of him wiping out the account if you tell him first. Agree with talking to an attorney first before doing anything.

As someone who worked in the bank before, joint accounts mean both people can withdraw and deposit from it at anytime. So it's not best to impulsively withdraw money and transfer in your own accounts when the other person can beat you to the punch. I'd get an attorney, gather documents and texts showing proof of cheating, then proceed from there. And if I were you, try connecting with eye witnesses to get their side of things. You never know who is willing to talk.

Related Posts

I am that person today. Feet ache. Loafers are under my bag. These are super thick socks with traction pads on the bottom. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Post Photo
likefunny

If anyone wants to study for the CFE but doesn’t want to pay the full price for the study materials and would be interested to split it, please DM me

like

Hello Folks,

I am really depressed, am the elder child of my family serving notice period and looking forward for financial growth and personal growth as well.
I am really passionate about my career and looking for Accounts receivable profile. I have 3.5 years of experience and having end to end knowledge of #O2C domain can join from 9th of June.

Kindly consider my profile.
It would be grateful,If anybody can refer.

Thanks in advance.

like

What is the best resource to learn springboot from scratch in depth.
(Other than the amigoscode 2hr video) thanks in advance.

like

Did anyone join Accenture from Deloitte? If yes, then is it necessary to post/ mail form 13 to Deloitte office for PF transfer request? Mine got rejected once! If we have to post, then which address or email?Deloitte @

like

If we missed to submit timesheet for first fortnight still we will get salary or not? In Accenture

like

Hi Fishes,
Salesforce making any change to the work location flexibility once offices are re-opened? Support roles are Hyd based why other locations cannot be utilised?

like

Hai sharks
I got multiple offers in hand . Can anyone help me to choose the best one
HCL - 19 FIXED , 21 CTC
LTI - 19.5 FIXED , 21 CTC , JB - 75000
CATERPILLAR - 20 FIXED , 21CTC

Skill set - Java spring boot microservices AWS
YOE - 4.9 years

likesmart

Hello Microsoft People,

are the hiring actually frozen for now, I was actually planning to apply for a few roles currently available.


Happy weekend everyone

Are any firms hiring for fdd with just audit experience? Third year audit manager here. I’d be willing to come in as a senior if needed.

like

Anyone have fee based fiduciary financial advisors they’d recommend? TIA!

like

How is the Company Genpact Headstrong Capital Markets in terms of Career Growth,WLB,Job Security and annual hikes?

Is it different from Genpact?

Client: Morgan Stanley
Location: Bengaluru

like

What is the least worst way (sorry) to let partners you appreciate very much that you are leaving for a competitor?
Would giving a warning before accepting the offer considered better or just rip the bandaid?

like

How much do you share with your coworkers? I never really share much of my personal life with coworkers, but my team shares a lot about themselves & their family. I usually ask about their lives, deflecting the question. Is this weird? Am I being too cautious?

like

I have a few interviews lined-up and wondering if it’s unprofessional to wear my nose ring on an interview? What are your thoughts?

like

Hello, I am a 4 year consultant/veteran looking for a referral for Deloitte, EY, PWC, BCG if anyone wants to connect. Thank you!

like

Does anyone or their small business need any writing or social media help? Would love to get some side income in this economy while helping the community.

like

Any one from Justworks willing to refer me?

It’s a new week!! Target to win 🏆.. Win! And keep winning!

likeuplifting

Additional Posts in Relationships

Been having trouble moving on since girlfriend ended relationship 3 weeks ago after 2+ years of dating. Before ending it she came over 3 weeks prior to basically give me a chance to work things out and we had a good discussion but then I went back into our routine and didn’t really fight for it or have serious follow up convos that we needed. Now I just have so many regrets that I let her go. I know we still love each other and left on “good” terms but can’t forgive myself for my lack of action.

like

Haven’t done the dating thing in a while so need advice! (F here) Met a guy at a party on Sat, followed each other on insta, then I dm’ed him my number saying “lmk if you want to get drinks sometime”. He then texts me and says something along the lines of “yeah let’s do it” but doesn’t offer any concrete plan. Does this mean he’s not super into it? Or am I overreacting and I should initiate the plan? I initiated the insta follow and the dm so I feel like it’s his turn…?

like

Unsure if my bf and I are incompatible or if I’m not compromising enough. How do you know the difference? He has so many great qualities that I love but also lacks some qualities that I would like to have but idk if I would be giving up on someone that is great for little things.

like

Do you think you and your significant other should have similar personalities? My significant other and I are doing long distance and I feel like when I FaceTime with him, I emote more and show interest by asking more questions but from his end, he doesn’t always have a reaction or just nods, and it makes me feel like he’s uninterested. On his end he sees it as he’s comfortable.

like

I went through my gf’s phone and found out she had a crush on my best friend when we first started dating (over a year ago). I suspected this at first but it hurts to have it confirmed and see her telling her friends about him. I’m not sure how I should feel since I went out of line to look through her phone.

like

My date won’t share his playlist with me (I can listen to it but he won’t share it). Just curious, is playlist a big deal to guys? We are both at early 20s and only dated for a week

funny

For those of you in your mid-20’s, how often do you go on dates with your significant other? In a serious relationship for the first time since college and trying to gauge what folks consider normal for dating frequency (excluding nights in). Context - we’re 25, dating for 3 months, live 5 mins away from each other, decent WLB

like

Reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle and I want my own Abby!!! Sigh.....

like

Any success stories out there of couples who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds? I’ve heard this difference (statistically) can be a huge barrier to success in a relationship. I’ll add more context in the comments if it helps.

like

F*****-up story…please be constructive (but also open & direct)
With my wife for 14 years, 2 kids under 8y - both under a lot of pressure bc Covid/work/private life/… and have been (unconsciously) running away from our couple not working “since a long time” (dixit my wife). We want to try and fix it, but I also met someone new (not sure if she would even want me) and wondering if it’s worth fixing it (since we are trying/running/avoiding it for years) - just worried about the kids…any advice

like

Just found out my boyfriend of 3 months (talking stage was about 6 months before making it official) slept with his ex a couple times while we were talking. After we agreed to be exclusive. Without protection. I’m so crushed 😞

like

How do u keep communication in a relationship if one person is emotional & other isn't (ex check-ins, how to recover from a fight, best way to not hold a grudge if something was said out out of anger)

like

Woman I went on one date with keeps me informed on what she's doing. I.e. Seeing her girlfriend or on her way to a birthday party. Not used to this level of transparency after just one date. We do have a second date planned. Thoughts?

like

Breakup etiquette- we broke up and I was supposed to go to his relatives’s wedding in a couple of weeks. I know the couple, not super well, but have hung out and texted individually as well. Should I let them know I won’t be attending and wish them well or don’t reach out to them?

like

Longest dry spell? Single people only!

like

I deeply miss my ex. The breakup was initiated by me 5 years ago because I was scared to commit. Since then, I’ve gotten married and have a daughter. I’m so embarrassed to admit it but I think about my ex everyday. I am so sad that I walked away from him. Life is ok now - I’m thankful for my family but my heart hurts. How do I move on?

My marriage is beyond repair I think. Husband just said we keep having the same conversations over and over in the past year about things we’ve been trying to fix. Is a year enough time? 11 years together for reference. And I don’t think his statement is true - he literally mentioned one of those things last week that he was happy about. I just can’t do it with these vague statements in arguments.

like

This is an emotional dump rn. It may be lack of social interaction but I'm really frustrated lately. I feel like I lost last 2.5 years of my life with ongoing lockdowns and job instability in the first half of the pandemic. I was 28 turing 31. I get good dates but -ve self talk
Inflation is high & coming from a low income family where you're supposed to help your parents is driving me nuts. Although I make a good salary, after rent, car insurance, there isn't much left (unfav currency exchange)

like

Fiancé’s milestone birthday coming up. We both love experiences and enjoy the city. Welcome all the help to make it special for her!

like

Is there a polite/gentle way to talk to your boyfriend about the fact that he has gained a lot of weight in the past year and needs more physical activity in his life?

I am not a very shallow person — he was already on the heavier side when we met. But when I look at photos from just a year ago, it’s clear he’s put on a lot of weight. I am worried about his health. I don’t want to overstep or make him feel insecure. Just wondering if anyone else has ever been here.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal