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Haha! My partner and I couldn’t be more different. Completely relate to this. I am more like you. Honestly, it’s more about being able to talk to each other about your preferences. We are working on how we can show up for each other based on our difference but there is no “should”.
We are in couples therapy, which is a huge help :-) some of what we’ve learned is not to take offense to the other persons way of being, but also I did discover and learn that he feels hesitant to show emotion because he’s been humiliated and hurt in the past, which he realizes makes him want to stay reserved instead of vulnerable. It’s about open dialogue. Learning what the other person needs wants and why they are like they are. Him not being emotional on calls doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel feelings or love me. He shows love differently than I do. In actions. Showing up. Quality time. He’s not a “words of love” kind of lover, more an “acts of love”. He’d rather show me he loves me than tell me. However he also knows I need that verbal reassurance so he tries to give it more but sometimes he needs some reminders. I had to work on giving him some space when he needs his introverted, “I hate public transportation and just got home and need alone time from all humans”. It’s just about listening and being open and sharing different needs. Maybe try to come at it from a place of non judgment but curiosity — Ie “I want to try to understand our differences.. I’m curious about how u express yourself and your reasons for that”. Things like that.
Rising Star
I did long distance with my SO for a year, and I hated FaceTime. It feels performative to have to be super enthusiastic and engaged. Eventually we shifted to doing a mix of calls and FaceTime, so it could feel more natural for me. We just communicated about what we preferred and how being more flexible meant we could spend more time “together” (e.g., on the phone).
He was super understanding and it worked out great - we’re now back in the same city and live together!
Pro
We have similar thought processes but have different personalities. I'm more of an extrovert. He's more athletic but is also a total nerd.
If it’s long distance, he should definitely put in more effort vs yall living in the same city and he shows his interest in person. Seems that maybe more of the issue vs personality. Especially if yall want to last without one of you getting distracted
This sounds like more of an issue with Long distance. In the past - I had been in an LDR for nearly a year, and it really puts a strain/over magnifies any kind of difference in communication.
It’s so much more seamless to be in the same place with someone. Would recommend taking a hard look at this & how long you all will be apart or if you can visit more often