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Hi Guys...
I have a total of 5.5 years of experience with current CTC as 11.5 lpa.
I have a offer from Infosys of 17 lpa
But my company wants to retain me and they are giving me an opportunity for Canada onsite in return of retention(no raise or bonus)
Please suggest me, if i should take the onsite opportunity or keep looking for counter on my current offer.
I have 70 days of Notice Period left.
Tech stack- python/ AWS/ data engineeringDeloitte
How much in hand if 12 lpa package in TTL
Additional Posts in Relationships
Longest dry spell? Single people only!
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I'm not sure if this will work, but for all the story i read about fixing broken marriages, they involves making a conscious decision to be nice to your partner (even if they don't reciprocate)
Do a nice thing for her everyday, be nice to her everyday. I did notice though mostly women are the ones who helped fix their broken marriage, since they have more of that kind of patience.
Food for thoughts - Just know the grass always looks greener before you cross over. Dating can be very hard and exhausting, fixing your marriage could be the easier option.
Right now it’s hard to do a nice thing…it really hard. But we are taking steps. We agreed that we stop doing bad things/ hurting each other…and once we are a bit more sane start tackling the big ticket items that need our attention and that we have been ignoring…with an uncertain outcome…and that’s scary…
Huh? You are basically saying you only care about impacts to your kids. What about your wife? Does she not have feeling?
What make you think it will work out better with the next person? Surely there was a time when the idea of being with your wife excited you. Excitement fades, and what you have left is relationship and communication skills to resolve conflicts and create sparks in order to maintain a relationship. It’s probably easier to start fresh with a new person at first, but if you have never acquired the skills necessary, it likely won’t work out either. Then you will be left with a messier situation. Grass is not always greener.
I am in the exact same situation with my husband, but I’m ready to separate and he’s not. I’ve been reading a book called too good to leave too bad to stay- it’s been illuminating. It’s basically a series of questions to diagnose if you’d be happier leaving or staying.
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452275350/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_B4W6EDCC2MB32T2XF97M
Not you ?
No matter what you decide, I think the first step is figuring what you could have done better in your current relationship.
Beginning to work on what you can do (and do it with the assumption that your wife has done nothing wrong) will hell you understand how much has to change in your relationship so you can know. It’s also worth a conversation with her about what she feels you could do better, once you identify it yourself and take notes on that stuff.
Once you do all that you’ve identified and she’s identified, and do it with the full intention to make it work, you’ll have a more clear answer. You’ll see if your efforts really did change the marriage back to what you were hoping for or see if she is unwilling to do the things you need from her.
As a child I divorce, I wish my father would have done that. I think it would have made his, mine, and my moms life a whole lot better.
On the counter though, if you don’t do the work to try and repair this relationship with all you have,&(- very unlikely that you will be successful in a future one, so even if you want to leave, the best actions is to try to work on yourself in this current one.
Very good thoughts…also a child of an (ugly) divorce that’s what I am most afraid of for my kids and why I want to fix it…just hoping it’s fixable and doesn’t fall apart a bit later. So I think there is some deep fixing to be done…
OP, Divorced M here. Don't let the thought of there being "other people out there" cloud your judgment. They were always out there and will always be out there. It might look attractive at first but the grass is not greener on the other side. Make your decision on the merits of your marriage.
We are all living in this broken world searching for happiness instead of joy. Always looking for the next best thing. Marriage has become an idol. Children are always the ones who suffer in the end.
So you wanna have an affair?
The “met someone new” can indeed be confusing…I just noticed that there are other interesting people out there. But don’t want it to get messy and hence thinking about cost/benefit of fixing vs. divorcing knowing both outcomes/consequences of the decision are highly unpredictable
If you find a new partner, there’s no guarantee things will end up better. They may seem exciting and enticing - but that’s because you don’t know them as well as you do your wife. I am sorry you are having relationship struggles with your wife. Perhaps working on communication and relationship skills would help? Going to couples therapy works really well
Please do not have an affair if you do decide to split ways.
I am a child of divorce and it destroyed me for years / I have trauma that bleeds into MY relationships. It’s heart breaking.
But I am sorry for the difficulty and I hope you both are able to find ways to honor one another with integrity no matter the outcome
*hugs*