Rising Star
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What about Italy? Anyone working there?
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Partner asking me how my work stream is doing
This job is miserable without travel.
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Actually Getting judged or just “feeling” judged? (latter being maybe your insecurity )
Rising Star
I did, especially during business school (M7). Personally didn’t bother me much from my perspective, however I felt much more inferior from time to time when talking about connection or backgrounds, or sometimes even taking about how they spend their money.
Some gaps will never be closed, but only widen. So I never cared about that, just focus on doing what I can to help my family and be happy with what I got. Some of them can and may judge us and there’s nothing we can do about it, so ignore them and focus on the good people
Yeah ignore the oblivious, privileged folks—some really don’t know any better, others are just not worth any mental energy. You’ll find that the ones that won’t judge you are smart and self-aware enough to recognize that you are in the same place they are BUT with a significantly smaller pool of resources available to you from birth, and they will respect you for that accomplishment.
Grew up in a single income family where sole bread winner was making 20-30K a year (basically as a security guard). Growing up, I never felt we were poor nor my parents ever made us feel that way. We had a strong saving culture, still went on vacations (road trips and putting 6 people in a single hotel etc.) and brought our own foods to amusement parks. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realised we were poor. I am quite grateful for that up bringing
Rising Star
I went to a top 10 undergrad and always felt out of place due to money. I just hung out with the other broke people. It wasn’t a choice per se. I just couldn’t pay what it cost to socialize with the rich people.
I don’t judge, I respect TF out of y’all.
My family is blue collar but I know most of my friends parents aren't. Yet we never really talked about our background or family wealth because that's not why we became friends. Same with coworkers. Sometimes I can't relate to their weekend shenanigans and they can't relate to my weekend family time, but oh well. As long as they're good people and easy to work with that's all it matters to me. I'll continue to better myself to provide for my family and will use their lifestyles as a motivation!
I could write a book
Rising Star
Please share
How would someone know if they are getting judged? They might be around the wrong people of verbal exchange takes place.
Rising Star
It’s like you can feel your standard is not to their standard. All others are on one page and you’re on another.
Yes, very much so. I just ask more questions than give answers. I find these type of people tend to like to talk about themselves and I am truly fascinated by their stories. I don’t share a lot of details about my upbringing or even current state because quite honestly, I don’t think they can fathom it, much like I truly can’t fathom theirs.
I guess I feel indifferent about it. I can’t really change my past and it made me who I am. I think it gives me a perspective but sometimes it can’t make me anxious and a little bit motivated because I know how close and quickly I could fall back into that financial status and I have no lifeline, like a family member to help me out.
Rising Star
I felt this
Chief
I grew up poor and was poor into my 30’s. Paid for most of my education from a shitty online college with my GI bill. I’m still paying off student loans in my 40’s. I’ve met very few consultants with similar backgrounds, but I don’t really go around asking. It’s not how you got there that matters. It’s the fact that you’re there. It’s not a fluke that we’re here. Enjoy the ride and don’t sweat the small stuff.
I also think it is weird to have conversations with people you grew up with that haven’t been exposed to the ultra rich. It helps to simultaneously ground me and make me grateful for the options I have worked for.
Rising Star
This. Their conversations have shaped their mindset. I was not exposed to it. I was exposed to a mentality of poverty that would perpetuate poverty.
https://www.boredpanda.com/classy-if-rich-trashy-if-poor-answers/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=BPFacebook
Just remember you’re in the same place now
Can you give an example of how you’re being judged?
Seems like a petty person. The questions they are asking don’t seem relevant with the line of work. Intrusion of space, to say the least.
I went to undergrad in California with a LOT of rich kids. I was a former homeschooler who didn’t have a car and bought my clothes at thrift stores/Target. My coping mechanism was to seek out the nerd’s nerds, who were less likely to care about my frumpy and uncultured background. It worked well. But as soon as I started making money, I made a point to invest in my appearance and pick up at least a couple of “rich person” hobbies. Haven’t had the slightest issue sticking out in the workplace.
Rising Star
Ok but sometimes I love target clothes too even when I can afford nice ones
No movies for all 4 yearslet your circle how much more and meaningful can be done with similar paycheck and how the effect multiplies quickly
Please ignore first 5 words and start with ..* let your circle realize.. :)