Rising Star
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I can’t help it. Love me for who I am.
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Let's hope there isn't an encore.
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Rising Star
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I’m sorry that you’re going through that OP. There’s no real answer to any of it. Life is what you make of it. Wish you best of luck
I like to think of life as a series of test. We are shaped by our response to those tests - we shape our character, our world views and our behaviors based on what we’ve been through. Loss helps build resilience, build faith and perhaps instill spirituality in us. It keeps us humble in success because it shows us the fragility of our existence.
Fairness of life is relative, we’re all on different paths and we all go through ups and downs, coming out as a good person - the best that you can be - should be how we strive to memorialize the loved ones we’ve lost as well as enabling us to look to a more promising future.
Co-sign. A very astute and open perspective, PL1–I subscribe wholly.
Rising Star
I’ve found personally, from my own hardships, the trying to answer the “why” will always leave you unsatisfied. I think it’s quite advanced of you to know life is unfair in the first place. When we know it’s unfair, we can see the ways we can participate to make the world more fair, more compassionate.
Thinking the world is already just and fair, imo, breeds complacency with the stays quo of things.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss, I hope you find some comfort in these strange days
Rising Star
Why do so many people my age “get” to still have two parents, and I have to deal with this pain? Likewise, why did I get to have both, relatively stable parents until I was 19, when people experience loss much earlier... why is there so much suffering and pain? What’s the point... and how can this be reconciled with any sort of faith
PS. OP so sorry for your loss and continued struggles.
I think this too sometimes and not for specifically myself . I am thankful for what I have . In general why ppl have to go through so much pain in their life . Like what’s the point ! You learn , suffer and die and then come to know the meaning of life 🤨
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But you need to think of this as an instance where you will grow stronger and more than the parents who “get” to have both their parents. Also remember that some of those parents are abusers, neglectful or toxic in other ways. Find some strength in the tragic circumstances and stay strong.
U should def have a therapy session or 2. It tremendously helped my GF. They help u through a thought process and help u with the philosophical stuff
Rising Star
I was deployed to Iraq several times in my mid to late twenties. I also struggled with this amongst the frenetic moments of craziness, agonizing boredom, and the background noise of potential death from random sniper and mortar fire.
Here are the maxims I came up with... you have one life and You get no bonus points for over thinking things. Find a corner for yourself and have fun, make it meaningful for you! Never stop growing and learning. Treat the little guy with respect. Never underestimate the power of a good gym session.
This doesn’t address the fairness question directly but I hope you don’t waste too much time thinking about it. If something really bothers you, do something!
Be well!
i’m sorry for your loss, OP.
you asked, so here’s my opinion: “fair” would imply someone is controlling the situation to make it one way or another. the fact is, we are the only ones controlling it. we, the people of this existence.
simply put, shit happens. but we make the best or worst of what that shit is.
Visual Storyteller
There are some things in this world and in our lives you can't change. But what you can change is your attitude and reaction toward the things you can't control.
Embrace your living parent and just go through this journey of life together. Right now they may feel like a burden but if you reframe the situation as blessing you might find peace and happiness in your situation. You lost a parent, but the one living you are blessed with more time. Learn from them what you've always wanted to learn. If they are sick, care for them with a goal of making them smile at least once a day. If they are lonely or depressed, try to plan trips or activities that you both have never done before. It will give them something to look forward to and also create new lasting memories and bonds.
An old professor at Art Center once told me, "if you change the way you see the world, the world you see will change". It sounds simplistic, but if you repeat it as a personal mantra it helps. It forces me not to accept the world as it is and allows me to explore different perspectives and interpretations.
Rising Star
The natural state of the world is death destruction and chaos. Every little thing we have and do and value takes unimaginable effort to sustain. “Fairness” is an unattainable incredible aspiration. For us as a species to even be able to have this conversation is a triumph of that endless biological and societal effort to stave off death and chaos.
Rising Star
Read the bible. Seek god.
Visual Storyteller
I have so much I want to share with you but it’s all my personal beliefs and I understand and respect that’s not for everyone.
Our world is naturally unfair and therefore all human life is also unfair.
Why are some animals predators and others prey? Why some parts of the work hit by natural disasters and others unscathed? Why are some children born into stable loving families and other born into third world counties?
Life is unfair at all levels and all we can do is live life with the cards that we were dealt.
Pro
I mean he’s not wrong, countries like India, while developing technically, have blood slaves. Literally kids and people are kidnapped and chained in basements and their blood is harvested. You need like 20-30 people to make 10 grand a month. Think about the scale of these operations. Imagine that life.
I would recommend "The Alchemist". It makes you think about destiny vs free will and other philosophical themes. Makes you look at life from different lenses.
Enthusiast
I hear you. I have one sick parent with a neurological disease and the other is depressed and always worn out from being a full time caretaker. My husband’s parents are both dead. I am 32 and none of my friends can relate (yet).
As someone who has also lost a parent...you could say the same about a lot of situations in life. Example, you were born in a place where you could receive an education and a well paying job. All across the world there are millions that don’t have the same opportunity. Just generally, life isn’t fair.
if you want to get philosophical, what is "unfair" to you?
I believe in reincarnation and that we choose to come into this world, choose our parents and come in knowing what our challenges will be to learn from and rise above them. I believe we all chose to be here at this time in history for a reason. We can choose love over hate, to evolve and grow, or not. Technically is ours. Be the change you wish to see in the world, as Ghandi said.
Dont know where "technically" came from! Meant, the choice is ours.