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I speak to my parents probably 5 days a week. I see them maybe 3 or 4 times a year (they live in a different continent).
It’s never too late to build rapport - but not with “why should I make an effort if they don’t” mentality.
I don’t mean for this to come across as disrespectful, but if you have enough time to come on here and type up this paragraph, you have enough time to give them a call. I know they would appreciate it, and it’s never too late too build that relationship back. After all there will eventually be a day where it is too late. :)
Conversation Starter
Coming from a POV that your parents have been fully present in your life growing up, I’d say that a relationship should be organic and exist without much of a labor. Sacrifices? Of course but not to the level that you’re wondering if it’s worthy. My mother lives in another continent and we talk literally every day. She is more present on my daughter’s life than her other grandparents here in the US. We grew into different people as life progressed but again, if the bond exists, you both grow together. In my opinion, unless your parents are completely absent from your life and have not participated in it, there should be no reason for the relationship to be severed.
What does "organic relationship" mean?
In-laws have more utility if they are rich. If not then the quality of their advice must be measured against their family ties.
Well, that's not narcissistic at all.
I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re all living unnaturally long lives in rapidly changing times.
People change. And we are all changing much more quickly and going through several different metamorphoses in the course of a life. Parents and their adult children can grow very far apart. The parents that raised me and provided my values are totally different people now. And I’m different.
We don’t think it’s weird when a couple divorces. It’s unfortunate, but common. But if a 50 year old decides they don’t have anything in common anymore with a 75 year old parent, there’s a guilt trip attached. 50 years in the 21st century is going to bring a lot of change. People don’t stay the same throughout a life anymore. Sometimes we change in the same ways and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we end up
VERY far apart.
You’re missing the point, or just don’t know that life has been speeding up and that results in a more rapid rate of changes. The changes can be more extreme.
Pro
Text my mom a few days a week, talk on the phone once a week
Every day with mom, every few weeks with Dad
They won’t be around forever, make the effort, they probably miss you unless there are problems in the past where there are grievances.