My gf and me call each other everytime we have free time. However lately she seems disinterested in phone time. She never initiates calls anymore and she tells me she wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live a 4 hour drive apart. And I told her this is like living together from a distance, because I put her on the house speakers. What can I do to keep her engaged?

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You have a teenager relationship. Time to grow up buddy. You are an adult with things to get done, her too.

likefunny

This is not a realistic expectation.

Seems likely that she'll break up with you if you continue to push this.

likesmart

You sound like you’re both co-dependent on each other. You can be long distance and not talk all the time. Especially if either of you do much outside of each other then the conversation can run dry

likehelpful

Don’t see her hesitation to stay on the phone as a bad thing. Sounds like that routine has become mundane. It’s okay to connect with her maybe once or twice a day.

likehelpful

How long have you both been dating? I’ve been there. It can be hard when things start to change BUT realistically she may just want some time to herself again. Maybe just catch up before bed instead of calling throughout the day. Think of alternate ways to engage instead of being on the phone all day

likehelpful

100%. Throw in some video calls, voice notes, memes, songs, links. Talk to her about the best times for you two to communicate...... her work load might have increased and she mightn't have time for during the day calls for example.

like

Even when you live together you need time apart, in separate rooms, don’t force it!

likehelpful

Honestly lost it at “she says she wants to hang up in the middle of the day”

like

Long distance relationships are frustrating for these reasons…why don’t you visit every weekend or every other weekend..keep the talking light in between and watch how much more desire there will be between you two. It will give you both something to look forward to. Good luck and don’t give up if it’s worth it you will be happy you kept trying different things to make it work. I did this for a while in the beginning of my relationship with my now wife of 3 years so I know it’s possible. But took a lot of effort and persistence and trust.

like

I don’t think I would be able to talk to someone on the phone for the entire day. After an hour absolute maximum I am fatigued, even if it’s with my best friend. It’s different than being in person where there’s space for a comfortable silence. Your girlfriend may feel this way too, and it has nothing to do with you.

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4 hours isn't far just visit every week or two. You're talking to much on the phone as it is rn.

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