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Hi everyone!
Debating between an offer from 200 employee company vs Zoom (the company).
The smaller company has good benefits, great wlb and a great culture per Glassdoor reviews. But its an HR software and not easy to sell.
Compensation is similar.
Never worked in a big company like zoom before, what are the pros, and the drawbacks?
Zoom
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Holy shit. Just holy shit.
Any decent turnip prices?
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Start CCing your boss on everything and see if he keeps that same attitude. Explain to your manager what's going on if they ask about it.
Report them to HR.
Hand it right back to him
I would absolutely not report to HR because it’s going to get turned around and reflect badly on you 9 times out of 10 it seems and shows you’re unable to handle difficult coworkers which is a whole other can of worms. Save that for last resort or any serious issues like harassment.
The first thing I do is step away for a bit for a break then come back and read the emails again and see if I am frustrating the coworker. I try to be objective about my role in the conversation and if I am being slow on the uptake that day and frustrating the condescending coworker or if for someone reason he just doesn’t believe I can get the job done. Sometimes the answer is that, yep, I’m actually driving this coworker to day drink right now and need to reevaluate. Sometimes, nope, it’s not me at all and the coworker is being a jerk.
Once I’m sure coworker is actually being a jerk then I draw some boundaries. I respond via email and thank them for their input and state how I’ll be doing it instead and make it clear in a passive aggressive manner that I know what I’m doing.
These interactions are hard. There’s another lady on my team who is just awful to me and every other human being she interacts with. People don’t apply to internal posted jobs on our team because of her. I feel your pain. Just choose your words very carefully.
This is great advice BUT sometimes they do need to be reported to HR. I had a coworker I initially thought was just being a jerk, almost made me cry at work and others on my team noticed. After telling them what he said, they encouraged me to go to HR. I’m a pretty lenient person, but knowing when someone is crossing your boundaries you have to know, ESPECIALLY as a female in the STEM space, because it will happen to most of us in the course of our career.
Long story short, I reported him to HR and found out from another coworker he had multiple others also report him in the past. I left the company a couple weeks later for other reasons, so not sure if HR did anything, but I felt good for doing the right thing. That behavior in the workplace should not be tolerated. As long as you’re not doing it with every squabble you have, HR will take you seriously.
Rise above it and prove them wrong. But I know it’s easier said than done. I had a male customer constantly ask for the male developers on my team (who I took over from) almost wondering when the “real developer” would be back to get the job done. Very dismissive. I didn’t report it but carried on and proved them wrong. But if they got rude over email I would cc my manager so they knew what was going on. That guy ended up moving department, I was relieved not having to deal with them again
If you are not good with setting boundaries and are conflict-avoidant, those are the things you can work on. Respect is earned, not just by your skills, but by your attitude and confidence.
In the meantime, talk to your manager about it before escalating to HR. And save all the emails and messages for proof.
Unfortunately, male software engineers who act like total assholes are generally tolerated and kept around, as long as they are productive engineers. Female engineers, and males in most other job functions, get no such grace, unless they are universally recognized by everyone as indispensable. End result is that your will encounter guys like this over and over in your career, no matter what company you are at.
To deal with guys like this, try to make sure there is always a witness around when you deal with him. Among the people who deal with him most, make a vow that you will all speak up and stick up for each other if you see him starting to abuse someone.
I've gotten results by telling his manager something like "I know that Chad is a really productive engineer, but I am very concerned with the way he belittles other team members and is obstructionist. I'm tough enough to handle it and not take the rude things he says and does personally, but I am very worried about how it affects younger and less experienced members of the team"