How do you tell your boss you are overwhelmed without coming across as incompetent?

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You could sat " I want to maintain the quality of my work but with so many tasks, I'm concerned about not giving each one the attention it deserves." This way, you're explaining your worry stems rom desire to maintain quality in your work.

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^^exactly what I’m worried about

I usually tell them that I need to delegate some lower responsibilities down to others, and I would like their approval to do so. When they ask why I just explain that with my current workload, I wouldn't be able to deliver the same level of high expectation due to time constraints, and that I would be happy to delegate to others around me until I'm caught up. This approach has worked for me in the past, because you're telling them about a problem, but you're also telling them your solution which they appreciate more than anything

Difficult.
When they give you a deadline and you know you can't meet it. Give them the option to choose between one project or the other.
That puts the owness on them.

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