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Your post says you gave her $100k, not that you loaned her $100k. As someone else asked, did you two agree that it was a loan and do you have that in writing? Maybe you can try to initiate a text with her and see if she acknowledges owing you the money and repayment terms. If not, then you may not be able to recover it. It's a costly lesson but at least you're implementing and enforcing boundaries.
Hire an attorney. Do you have records that show you loaned her the money?
I’m so sorry! If you haven’t already please check and use Lyra. I feel like you need all the support you can get. And agree find an attorney and start tracing for records showing you loaned her money.
Definitely subtly get her to acknowledge in text or in a recording that she owes you the money. Otherwise you have no recourse to get it back.
Mine took advantage of me for years in my teens and early 20's for money. I'll never see it again, I long ago gave up on that. You can spend thousands on a lawyer, but unless you have it in writing that there was a loan agreement, it's your word against hers. The only winners are the lawyers taking your money. I changed my number and never talked to her again once I realized what kind of a person she really was. Never give or loan money to friends or family, ever. Expensive lesson learned.
Initiate to sell the house
She is working now and doesnt need it. Her net income is over 120k. Her house is paid off.
Everything i ask she goes off on me and yells. I am not asking for charity or her money. I worked so hard throughout undergrad and grad school to save that money. I had no weekends off. Always in school or working.
Now I really need it. Idk what to do. I feel so used. I gave her everything I had until I got married and moved out. She would manipulate me and say she had to pay for food and rent. My siblings never worked. It took me so long to see i have been used by my own mom.
I finally told her I need my money and if she doesnt give it to me to stop calling me with all her problems. We haven't spoke for 3 weeks. I think she will never call me. I am trying not to call either. I need to stop being a doormat.