I am the middle child. My mom always paid attention only to my little brother or big sister.

I tried everything, study, get part time job, get masters, get scholarships. Nothing seemed to make her care for me as much as she did for my siblings.

In 2021 I gave her all my savings to help with a house down-payment. 100k.

Now I am married and have a new born. I want to stay home with him for a few years. I asked my mom if I can get my money back.

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Your post says you gave her $100k, not that you loaned her $100k. As someone else asked, did you two agree that it was a loan and do you have that in writing? Maybe you can try to initiate a text with her and see if she acknowledges owing you the money and repayment terms. If not, then you may not be able to recover it. It's a costly lesson but at least you're implementing and enforcing boundaries.

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Hire an attorney. Do you have records that show you loaned her the money?

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I’m so sorry! If you haven’t already please check and use Lyra. I feel like you need all the support you can get. And agree find an attorney and start tracing for records showing you loaned her money.

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Definitely subtly get her to acknowledge in text or in a recording that she owes you the money. Otherwise you have no recourse to get it back.

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Mine took advantage of me for years in my teens and early 20's for money. I'll never see it again, I long ago gave up on that. You can spend thousands on a lawyer, but unless you have it in writing that there was a loan agreement, it's your word against hers. The only winners are the lawyers taking your money. I changed my number and never talked to her again once I realized what kind of a person she really was. Never give or loan money to friends or family, ever. Expensive lesson learned.

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Initiate to sell the house

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She is working now and doesnt need it. Her net income is over 120k. Her house is paid off.

Everything i ask she goes off on me and yells. I am not asking for charity or her money. I worked so hard throughout undergrad and grad school to save that money. I had no weekends off. Always in school or working.

Now I really need it. Idk what to do. I feel so used. I gave her everything I had until I got married and moved out. She would manipulate me and say she had to pay for food and rent. My siblings never worked. It took me so long to see i have been used by my own mom.

I finally told her I need my money and if she doesnt give it to me to stop calling me with all her problems. We haven't spoke for 3 weeks. I think she will never call me. I am trying not to call either. I need to stop being a doormat.

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