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When I was 5, my mom was frustrated with me and said, “you never do anything right.” I looked at her through my coke bottle 80s glasses and said, “but mom, I do some things right!” She went in her room and cried, she felt so awful for saying that to me. She still retells this anecdote from time to time. But you know what? I don’t remember it. I only remember her stories about it and I love her even more because she was so clearly bothered by it. We’ll never be perfect moms. But we can show our kids empathy and kindness through how we take responsibility for our actions. You’re doing a great job.
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I did this the first week of quarantine. You are doing far better than me. You made it 5 weeks. In my book, this is an accomplishment. But seriously I know how you feel. But we’re all at a low right now - try not to judge yourself too harshly. I don’t think there are many of us who are being our best parent self or employee. If you can try to give yourself some space. Even if it’s 15 mins and take a few deep breaths, forgive yourself and reset.
I never once had my parents apologize to me for anything, or talk to me with respect. Apologize, talk about making mistakes, make it concrete by using example of mistakes your kid has made and others that you’ve made. Your apology, and teaching your child that we all make mistakes, and what we do next is what matters, will be a very important lesson learned for you and him, for life.
For this age group, Daniel Tiger has great episodes on mistakes and apologies. Really valuable, high concept stuff, delivered in age appropriate ways. The one that comes to mind is about apologizing and asking ‘how can I help?’ To fix it. Google that and you’ll know which one to watch.
Kids have a way of pushing us past our limits, and it's just such a stressful time right now anyway. Go back and talk to your kid (or maybe tonight at bedtime). Maybe talk about how kids and adults should try to handle big emotions, apologize, and end with a big hug. It will be a teaching moment for your kid, will help you move past the guilt (you are not a bad parent--every parent has a breaking point) and tomorrow is a new day. You are a great mom!
Been there and wasn’t a quarantine moment. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are doing soooo much juggling kids & work while in a cage essentially & your surviving. Keeping everyone alive, fed and somewhat happy is a major success daily.
It happened, they’ll forget it and you’ll likely not do it again bc you feel so awful.
Definitely been there. Like rGa said, taking a 45 min walk or a 20min run. Just something for myself alone has helped. Not just now but though all of motherhood.
Give yourself a break. Parenting is hard and the pressure with covid, being a woman in advertising, work life balance etc. are real.
Repeat after me. You are an awesome mom, you kid loves you and you are enough.
You are not a bad mom. This is unfortunate, but so normal and understandable. I have raised two children and looking back, it’s not about the mistakes-it’s about the love over the course of a lifetime. I once slapped my daughter in the face when she was four-out of frustration. I’ve felt bad about it for 10 years. She remembers it, but I have apologized and we have a great relationship. There are 100s of examples over the past 20 years where I made mistakes. There are also 100s of examples of pure love and kindness. Please be good to yourself Mama. It is okay to not be perfect-no one is.
Give yourself some grace. Everyone loses their shit on their kids at some point or another, especially toddlers! Feeling badly is a normal reaction but not one you should hold on to.
Thank you guys so much, your supportive posts really helped. I did apologise for using a bad word a couple of minutes after, and her response was “what word did you use?”... Clearly made a bigger impression on me than her (or she just wanted to hear me say it again 😶) Not my finest moment, but also probably not the last time. Can’t wait for the teenage years...
I’ve done it! Forgive yourself and talk to your kid about it. At their level of understanding. Then move on...this shit’s hard so better not to dwell and keep it moving.