I felt weirdly guilty taking my birthday off this week even though it was PTO I’d already earned, and nothing was on fire. I kept checking Slack, half-expecting someone to need something, or worse, question why I was offline. Meanwhile I’ve personally covered for people on vacations, sabbaticals, even last-minute leave with zero resentment. I don’t know if it’s internal pressure or the culture we’ve created, but the guilt is real. Anyone else struggle to unplug, even when it’s something as basic as celebrating your own damn life?

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I feel this and can relate. We think we are more important and valuable than sadly we are. If it was someone’s else’s birthday you wouldn’t for one minute begrudge them enjoying the day off. But because it’s us we think we are irreplaceable and always needed. The reality is we will be replaced at the drop of a hat without a care from our employer so learning is for us both to try and enjoy life more and not make our job our identity.

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That’s on you. Work on it with your therapist. Everything you described is a situation you created. Nothing on fire. You had PTO. And if that’s how your bosses make you feel, start looking for a new job. I highly doubt the others you covered for felt this guilt.

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