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Has anyone taken STD/parental leave at both Js?
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First overnight away was probably around 15 months. Honestly, it was way harder on me! He breezed through and was happy to see me when I got back. Having your husband there and keeping the routine goes a long way, and your baby will do just fine.
I did a single overnight when mine was 3 months and again at 9 months, and I felt the same way, but everything was fine. She had a good time with her dad. I pumped and kept up my supply. And when I came back we did fun things together and it was a good bonding. I think the next time I was away was M-F 2 weeks in a row when she was 19 months. Again it was fine but still hard on me. I really needed the time away (it was for work, not personal, but still felt like a welcome break) but also missed her terribly and felt a little guilty.
Each time I came back she was happy enough, but as soon as she saw me she didn't want to let go for hours.
You got this.
I'll add....I was worried bout her overnights because she was used to me putting her to bed and getting up with her if she needed it. Turns out she actually did BETTER going to bed and sleeping through the night when I wasn't there lol.
Chief
Being away from my kids was very hard for me until they were in elementary school and genuinely seemed not to care. I declined opportunities for work trips that were longer than 2-3 nights and declined to go more than twice a year. I also brought my family on many trips with me—pretty much every conference. I don’t regret it at all.
For young kids, a parent being away is traumatic, in their world. That said, it’s also a normal part of life and I felt like there was value to normalizing comings and goings. I also think that learning to cope with me being gone occasionally was a resilience-building. The amount of time you’re describing is not that long, it’s nothing to feel guilty about. Rather, it’s just a new developmental milestone that your family is going to get through. Sometimes doing new things is hard, but I believe you can do it. Bring baby a good present when you get back!!
I did a single overnight when my little one was 14 months. It was hard on me (around the time I was weaning from the pump too, and thankfully by that point didn’t need to bring anything other than an emergency hand pump with me) but was pretty glorious being able to “sleep in” a little. My baby did great! Husband said he asked after me but didn’t dwell on it. I’m going on a multi-night trip soon and he’s a few months older and I’m confident he will do so well!
Enjoy the good night’s sleep in a quiet hotel bed. I was recently on a work trip where I got up early and worked on my hotel room in the cushy hotel robe while I listened to classical music and drank my coffee in peace. Bliss. And then enjoy the hell out of the homecoming because it is SO SWEET! I still cry almost every time.
I did 2 nights when my first was 13 months (to deliver another baby). I did another 2 nights when my kids were like 7 months and 20 months and two more 3-night trips since then. I hate leaving my kids but also learned to enjoy the time. They were always fine and I think it was good for everyone.
I am doing 3 nights away at 6 months, I think I will have a much harder time than the baby as he will be well taken care of. I know I will miss him so much and worry about his sleep routine getting disrupted. I will be with him every day up until that point so it’s stressing me out.
Sending you a huge hug 🫂