For pregnant women who have had prior pregnancies/losses but no living children, do you consider yourself a FTM? When people ask if this is your first, do you share that it’s not your first pregnancy? This is my third pregnancy and would be my first living child; it’s been on my mind as I head into the second tri (which is when I lost my last baby).

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I’ve been pregnant 8 times and have one living child. If I’m able to sustain another pregnancy and someone asks me this, I have no issue saying exactly that. If they don’t want to hear it, they shouldn’t ask.

likeuplifting

🙌🏼

I usually just did consider myself FTM since most people don’t want to hear the other details and it was going to be the first time I went through many phases. Most people that asked that question were not very close to me.

Congratulations OP 🎉

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Thank you! I think I’m also self-conscious about how quickly everything started growing this time around - boobs, belly were instantly like bam! To friends I almost feel the need to explain why things popped out so soon. 😂 In 10 weeks I’ve gone from a small C to DD… I was at a D much later in my last pregnancy.

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Hey! Very similar experience. This is my third pregnancy. I’ve had a stillbirth and a miscarriage.

I have really tried to be open, honest, and true to my experience when people ask me personal questions… even if it makes them slightly uncomfortable. Society does not know how to approach pregnancy loss and I often think that’s because no one discusses it.

People innocently ask all the time “is this your first?” and I’ve found creative ways to answer it:

Third pregnancy, first time making it to the third trimester!

Third pregnancy, hoping for our first child.

I usually say it with a hopeful tone and just kinda sit in the silence as they put it together. Sometimes it’s easier to lie,“yes first time!” But i really try not to. I had many women (colleagues!) who were open about their loses with me… and then when it happened to me it felt more normalized and I didn’t feel alone.

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Thank you for this and I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve had two late miscarriages (second tri) and I have been searching for a response to the dreaded ‘first time?’ question now that I’m back in the second tri again and showing, again. The reality is I don’t want anyone’s advice or well-intended but unwelcome squeals of excitement - I want gentleness and a tacit understanding that this is an emotionally very complex situation. Thank you for helping me feel seen!

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I’ve been pregnant 8 times and have one living child. If I’m able to sustain another pregnancy and someone asks me this, I have no issue saying exactly that. If they don’t want to hear it, they shouldn’t ask.

Idk why this posted twice. I wasn’t trying to be emphatic 😂

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