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It sounds like he’s worked for managers in the past who punished independent thought or gave him grief for not doing things exactly the way that person wanted it.
And even though it doesn’t seem like you’re from this post, it’s possible this manager has even picked up those vibes from you.
When the person comes to you next time asking for input, don’t give it. Tell them that you want them to take their stab at it and you’ll only look at it after they’ve completed it. And then when you get the completed version complement them on what they did right and if there’s any feedback be gentle in providing it.
The two takes on the manager may be accurate or this may just be his first leadership job. What you can do is set up weekly one on ones if that’s not enough twice a week for three weeks, then back them off to once a month. consultant one is correct, instead of answering their questions probe them for their knowledge. You’re teaching them to fish instead of giving them a fish.
You’ve probably run into the situation before, how did you handle it previously?
That sounds frustrating - ugh. My first instinct is to gather some more information so you can tackle the right challenge. First, maybe see if you can identify a pattern in the area where he is seeking support. For example, does this happen only when there’s a financial decision or decision involving a difficult employee?
Then I suggest asking him, in a very open, nonjudgmental way, what he thinks is happening (e.g., “I’d like to share an observation with you and ask for your insight. I’ve noticed when there’s a financial decision to be made, you tend to seek my input. In other areas, you operate more independently. Do you see the same pattern? Why do you think that is?”)
This info will hopefully help you figure out what’s needed. For example, is there a lack of core knowledge so doing some more focused and direct education would be the fix (e.g., set aside 1 hr to explain the budget process).
Another idea is to create a loose and flexible framework laying out where he has authority to make decisions independently and where you would want to be involved. It’s possible he’s not sure where the line is, and this would help clarify it. Again, having a direct convo to ask would shed some light on this.
Easier to opine from a distance than be in the thick of it but undoubtedly you will get it right and help him more to the next level on this issue. Hang in there and good luck!
Hi!
When he asks for your guidance, what do you do? Do you give them an answer or do you ask: "what do you think you should do?"
Also, did you talk to him and asked him directly what makes him have a need to continuously check in with you? (of course, you want to be attentive to the tone you used there - it´s not necessarily "what" you say but "how" you say it.)
It would be interesting to understand his way of thinking behind feeling the need to reach out to you regularly.
Once you know his reason, it will be easier to identify what you need to do next.
If you´d like to share more and chat further, feel free to message me/connect on LI. Happy to help.
All the best!
I would just be direct about it. They’re not a high performer if they need constant hand holding, and it’s doing their career no favors to pretend otherwise.
“Hi so-and-so, I wanted to give you some quick feedback as you grow in your role. The expectation of a high performing leader here is to solve problems independently. You have a great sense of judgment, which is one of the many reasons you’re in this role. I want you to be the face of (insert team name here). This means stepping up and calling the shots.”
I really like the feedback from others to redirect their questions with more questions. It takes some practice but they’ll come out better for it. Good luck OP!
Let me give you a bit of scenario when I was going through this as a new leader. I probably went to my manager a few times asking what I could do can I do this? Can I do this? And the answer that she gave me was I put you in the role because I trust you and the decisions that you’re talking about making I made as a representative. And that really clicked for me. Then I knew OK. I have my guard rails now I can go and make decisions. Ever since being in that role anytime I changed companies or changed departments. I just went to my leader to find out what my guard rails were and I never looked back.
So maybe you adjust this conversation a little feedback is necessary, but remind them that you trust themand here are your guard rails now go to work. Let them know that you expect them to make these decisions and that you trust them to make them. I’ve had conversations with my own people and other peers, reminding them of what their guard rails are.
I agree with the advice others have shared -- when he comes to you for guidance, ask him what he's done so far, what he thinks he should do next, and what resources he's considered.
Talk with him about the scope of his role -- if it falls within X, Y, and Z parameters, you can handle it. If it falls under A, B, or C, you need to check in with me first.
If he still struggles with making decisions, I'd recommend 2 things: 1. Have a hard conversation with him about the expectations of his role and the autonomy he should have to make decisions. If he can't meet those expectations, this may not be the right fit for him in the long-run. 2. Set him up with some training or coaching. This helps him get the feedback and support he needs without having to go through you.