I just wish people would stop hurting me and realize I’m not made of stone

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You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control yours. Why do you allow them to hurt you?

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It's not other people hurting you. It's your own reaction to their actions/ words / behaviors that's hurting you. The latter is not in your control. The former absolutely is. Focus on that.

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

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Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

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The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

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I still think of my ex. It’s been 9 months since our breakup. He cheated on me and although I walked away and never looked back, I still wonder how life is treating him. I know I deserve better. Sigh.

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I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

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Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

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