Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Omg yes. My therapist once said that if the emotional abuse from my ex was physical, he would have been long arrested and lock up.

like

It’s not your fault! You didn’t do anything wrong!

like

Healing from Hidden Abuse is a great book.
Also Becoming The One.

Do not feel ashamed. You were abused and manipulated. He may not have broken your bones, but he broke your mind.

I left 1.5 years ago and I am still healing from the mindfuck. Feel free to DM me if you need someone to validate you.

like

I had those same thoughts when I finally realized what was going on and the situation I was in. “How could I let this happen?” I felt like I had betrayed myself.

Look at it this way - it’s like a frog in boiling water. Many people understand this analogy and emotional abuse is no different. People don’t get into abusive relationships from the start. We are often kind and trusting people who are manipulated into situations by someone taking advantage of us.

You are trauma bonded. It is an addiction. Curated by your abuser. And now you need to detox. This is why it’s so hard to leave - it’s been likened to breaking a heroin addiction. The problem is you’re addicted to the instability of your own hormones.

With time, you will feel okay. You will feel like you again. Love yourself fiercely and take this time to really get to know yourself. Stand in your power and your authenticity with your eyes fixed on the future. One day at a time.

When you know yourself to the core nobody can ever again convince you that you’re someone you are not. Do the work. Do the things that bring you joy. Set hard boundaries. Protect your peace.

Nobody on this earth is ever again worth you crying yourself to sleep wondering why you aren’t good enough. You are more than enough.

like

Related Posts

I have strong feelings for my friend who also happens to be my superior at work. We also flirt with each other sometimes. I don’t know what to do.

like

Any recommendations for books for desi parents ? Politics , economics, world order , self help

So I have been seeing a guy for 4 months. We have a pay disparity.. he earns less than I do (by quite a bit). He has mentioned a few times that he’s worried I’ll get bored of him when I know he can’t afford the same things I can. I think we are beginning to move past this, but now he’s starting to mention things like ‘I am really broke this month’, and last weekend he told me his mum has lost her job and he’ll have to probably pay her rent. I have a lot of sympathy for his situation … tbc

like

My wife reads nearly an entire book per day just in her spare time after work, no exaggeration. I’m amazed by her and wondering what ideas are out there to monetize her skill? Book editing maybe?

likefunnysmart

My wife is in sales at Mercedes and she has been averaging $200k a year and growing YoY. She loves her job, however she works long days and barely gets time off. We plan on having kids within the next year or two, and it’s highly u likely that she’ll be able to keep her current gig. We want to find a career that allows her to work remote or that at least gives her a better work life balance so that she can see her kids grow up. Should she get certifications to give her a shot at adtech?Too late?

like

Dating someone im crazy about. Only downside we have different priorities. She is party/friends focused while I would rather family time, time w her, or doing hobbies. Any tips? Should I give it time?

like

Am I crazy or do women take pride in saying “my boyfriend/husband makes twice as much as me” or similar statements

Anyone have leads on a live in or live out nanny in the Columbia/Ellicott City/Howard County, MD area? Two kids, a 4yo and a 4mo. Looking for someone to start next summer/fall so could work nicely if there are any families who will be aging out as their kids start school.

like

I spent an hour today sitting with one of my patients getting a chemo infusion. Lonely and weird time to not have his wife in there with him

like

What do you do when your lifelong friends get married, have kids and disappear to the burbs or wherever and you’re single, lonely and gay?

like

Perspective: monogamy is anti-human nature; in this era where each parent could raise a kid independently, marriage tends to be a shackle on many aspects of life. We live once, why does society expect us to live with 1 person for 60+ years? No wonder divorce rates are through the roof!

funnylikesmart

How do you handle people’s kids showing up on video meetings? Screaming, kicking, hamming it up, (wasting time.) Everyone else is coo-ing…I’m not a kids person. Heard a technique which is to drop off the call bc you “assume the call is over” (which seems like a great way to get fired especially if it’s a way higher up’s kids - plus it feels rather passive aggressive.) Thoughts?

like

How do you guys make friends in a new town?

like

Moving to San Diego in the spring from the central coast. Any recs on places to live (late 30’s with a kid)? Want to be close to restaurants and things to do, but a little too old and tired for gas lamp!

Seen a few posts on people not having/hating on parents with kids. What is your rationale? I for one am excited to have 3 kids running around in the future! Anyone else?

like

28,F divorced no child and no life , my marriage is nothing but a whole cheat drama, now parents are asking to marry anyone who can 'accept ' me but I never did anything wrong other than being innocent and naive and good to bad people, really wanted to live my life, somebody hold my hand when in distress and i ended up somebody who just need my money and body nothing else, just feel like committing suicide, never been a loser at any point of life , Life is bloody damn unfair

like

My boyfriend just found my vibe...

like

Colleagues, if any of you are interested in helping severely disabled combat veterans get homes adapted for their disabilities, let me know. My wife recently started working for former NFL linebacker Jared Allen and his foundation. We're trying to figure out how to leverage the power of the big consulting firms to help our brothers and sisters in need.

like

Just found out my boyfriend of 3 months (talking stage was about 6 months before making it official) slept with his ex a couple times while we were talking. After we agreed to be exclusive. Without protection. I’m so crushed 😞

like

Any books that you found very helpful to read as expecting parents? We’re just nine weeks along, but would love to start preparing however we can!

like

More Posts

Best company to work for in the Triangle - NC area? Preferably with high diversity.

like

Can some refer me in cogni...
Data Analyst.
YOE 1.5

like

Can anyone tell if Wells Fargo sends any mandatory form to be filled and taken on the day of joining or they will give one day one.
Mandatory forms as in pf declaration and all?

Compensation expectations for VP level at 100M VC fund? 8 YOE consulting plus top 5 MBA

like

Have an interview with Sixth Street Partners and coming from consulting. Any idea what to expect?

like

What is the best way to look at historical PE investments? I am hoping to discover new PE firms for networking / sales purposes. Potentially a website specifically that tracks announced PE deals. Thank you!

like

I went from meeting HR to the head of my department I’d be working for in 3 days. This seems fast. Does it to anyone else? It’s a super fast growing fin tech. I think they may just need bodies.

like

Okay, Audi C7 S6 or 2017 E43 and why?

like

What are some of the things to keep in mind when leasing a new car? What are some add-on that can be negotiated on?

like

What are your thoughts about wearing chinos to work?

How much bonus does an L6 in tech consulting get ?

like

Can someone help me on what should one ask for B8 position for project management having 8 years of experience .

like

Planning a southern Germany and Switzerland trip over Xmas - must visit cities??

like

Hi Fishes,

One more scenario when dealing with counter offer with holding offer for X.

Two company A&B gave more or less package X+3 Lakh.

Can we still negotiate with company A Or B to get top up from X+3 to make a clear decision to choose over one other.

Is this recommended approach?
Or
how do tackle this situation?

Pour in your ideas which will help all.

Thanks,

like

How are you reacting to the Russia Ukraine crysis?

What I mean: are you going to take sides? How are you going to enforce your position in daily life?

American looking for Servicenow international work in development; anybody know where to really look for solid opportunities for international hires?

like

What would be the pay for a grade 11 job at S&P?

like

can anyone tell me what is the work policy in S & P Gurgaon ? is it hybrid model or wfh?

I have cleared 2 technical interviews with S&P Global for the Java Developer job position. With good feedback.
As the interview went well.

I have attended a managerial interview which was scheduled for 30 minutes. It also went well. I answered 90 to 95% of the questions.

How much time they will take to give the feedback as we have a long weekend now

Thanks

Hi,
Planning to try content creation/influencer as a side income source. Any ressources (courses, ebooks, blogs, channels ..) on how to get started with TikTok, IG reels, YouTube videos..
Thank you!

like

Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

like

My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don’t know how to approach work during this time. I think I can get by, but I’m definitely not 100%. Should I talk to my boss about it? My team is close-knit and comfortable around each other, but I don’t know if it’s “appropriate.” What would you do?

like

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

like

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

like

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

like

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

like

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

like

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

like

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

like

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

likehelpful

Alright it’s been 21 days of no contact. Fastest and longest few weeks since lockdown 😞 I know it’s not an exact science but I’m curious on the statistics…who’s heard from their ex after a breakup and how long after?

like

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

like

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

like

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal