Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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Omg yes. My therapist once said that if the emotional abuse from my ex was physical, he would have been long arrested and lock up.

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It’s not your fault! You didn’t do anything wrong!

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Healing from Hidden Abuse is a great book.
Also Becoming The One.

Do not feel ashamed. You were abused and manipulated. He may not have broken your bones, but he broke your mind.

I left 1.5 years ago and I am still healing from the mindfuck. Feel free to DM me if you need someone to validate you.

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I had those same thoughts when I finally realized what was going on and the situation I was in. “How could I let this happen?” I felt like I had betrayed myself.

Look at it this way - it’s like a frog in boiling water. Many people understand this analogy and emotional abuse is no different. People don’t get into abusive relationships from the start. We are often kind and trusting people who are manipulated into situations by someone taking advantage of us.

You are trauma bonded. It is an addiction. Curated by your abuser. And now you need to detox. This is why it’s so hard to leave - it’s been likened to breaking a heroin addiction. The problem is you’re addicted to the instability of your own hormones.

With time, you will feel okay. You will feel like you again. Love yourself fiercely and take this time to really get to know yourself. Stand in your power and your authenticity with your eyes fixed on the future. One day at a time.

When you know yourself to the core nobody can ever again convince you that you’re someone you are not. Do the work. Do the things that bring you joy. Set hard boundaries. Protect your peace.

Nobody on this earth is ever again worth you crying yourself to sleep wondering why you aren’t good enough. You are more than enough.

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