It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful
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I’m sorry you are going through this. But it’s a hard journey that we all had to do and might still be doing it to get to the other side.

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It does. And then it gets hard again. And then easy again. Eventually the hard times will be shorter and the easy times will be longer. Keep moving forward with the pain and don’t try to short cut it. It just makes the journey even longer.

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I’m sorry you feel that way :( it’s been 8 months for me. Although it does it better, the first 2 months seemed like there was no end in sight. Know you can get through this and force yourself to go back into a routine; cooking, going to gym, seeing friends

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Unless the person isn’t replaced, it doesn’t get better. It’s been 4 years for me.

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I know exactly how it feels. Often times I never thought I’d see the other end of the tunnel. But I did. It gets better and more manageable each day. I’m sorry you’re hurting!

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I didn’t think it was possible to feel anger, sadness, disappointment and depression all at once, but it is. I hope he feels it too. You’re right OP, that it’s both physical and mental. A full self involuntary recalibration.

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likehelpful

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

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I need to block him.

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The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

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I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

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It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

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I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

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Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

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Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
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Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

likehelpful

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

like

Here to tell you guys that each of us mending from either leaving a bad relationship or having some leave us: things are going to be amazing for us! I believe if for myself and I am so happy! And meeting new people is FUN. Laughing with friends and being yourself, away from all the drama, pain. Liberate yourself by deciding this breakup is your evolution into your best self!

likeupliftinghelpful

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