I think I need some uplifting. I turn 30 this month, never married and no kids. I’ve been dating (5 months here, 4 months there) & ending in a different way every time. The last guy I broke up was very emotionally unavailable and didn’t believe in communicating about emotions. Which is something I desire in a relationship. Should I feel scared at this point? I have the rest of my life in good shape, but I’m failing in the relationship category nonstop, and my biggest desire is to find my person.

Met my husband at 30 after numerous failed relationships. Almost 5 years later we’re married with a baby. Don’t settle and trust it will come.

Had a terrible breakup at 29 with the guy I thought was going to be my forever one. 30 was a turnaround year and ended up being one of the best years of my life that far. Dated casually but didn't find anyone serious. Met my now-husband at 34 out of the blue, married him at 35, had a kid at 37 and now 40 and pregnant again.

I’m right there with you - 32, career and everything else is going so great, just made big law partner but constantly failing trying to find my person and it’s my biggest desire as well and feeling a lil empty that I haven’t been able to do so. You’re not alone, I see you and understand you ❤️

It will happen! The worst thing you can do is look around and choose the person nearest because “it’s time.” Dating is hard. Marriage is also hard (married 26 yrs), so don’t idealize that, either. Good for you that other areas of your life are in good shape! So good you know yourself and what you need/want in a partner. I bet you’ll meet someone on a work trip or doing an activity you love. As long as you’re open and giving people a chance it will happen. 💕

Do not give up! &I promise you have no reason to be scared. I found my person at 33 after many, many first dates and several flings; he is everything I could ever want from a partner and so much more. Talking about emotions is so basic, you should have no problem finding someone who shares everything with you openly and honestly. Your person is out there, just be patient and never lower your standards.

From the other side, I got married at 29. I have 2 great kids and I love my career and am successful. I’m 42 now and in the middle of a divorce and I’m wildly thrilled about my pending freedom. Wait for the right person. I won’t be looking immediately, but I know I’ll get there again eventually. And I’ll be mid-40s at least! You’re in a good place in life and it will come when the time is right, and you don’t control that part. Be glad you didn’t jump in - I wouldn’t wish my kids or life away, but I do wish this man away and it’s been crushing my spirit for years. You’ll get there, sis. Hugs.

Offering perspective from the other side - married 4 years with an almost 2 year old. I would kill to go back to a time when I was the only person I was responsible for. Enjoy the you time when your time is truly yours to whatever you wish whenever you want.

In my opinion, 30s is the best time to meet your person. By then, you’re more likely to find someone who has found some stability both emotionally and professionally. Hang in there. Hopefully, all the heartbreak and bad dates will pay off when you’ve found your person.

I met my spouse in my 30s, too! No reason to worry. Honestly, I found that the quality of the dating pool increased exponentially in my 30s. A lot more men interested in commitment in that age range.

I did not meet my husband until 35 and did not get married until 37 - and I am from the South! My parents just stopped asking or pressuring me at 30. In my family law class in law school, the Professor once gave a statistic that 95% of Americans get married once before the age of 55. I always found that comforting because I thought "surely, I am not in that 5%." All I can say is maybe swipe yes to the guy that you have swiped no to a couple of times that keeps popping up.

It’s hard… because I’m emotionally available, I’ve worked through any past relationships scars a while ago, and work doesn’t consume my life so I have weekends and evenings free. I really liked my ex a lot… but he never once apologized when he would stonewall me. Doesn’t believe in love languages, wouldn’t want me to get him anything for his bday, kept delaying being “official” even though we were exclusive. It’s hard to meet Mr. Right :/

Ask your friends to host dinner parties. Host some of your own to get it started and ask them who they might bring. Join a board. Do something other than work and work out. Never had a serious boyfriend before law school. That didn’t last but I met someone when I was a junior associate and have been married over 25 years. Don’t give up!

Sending you love. 30 is young! My best friend is 43 and getting married this October to a man she’s madly in love with and met about 5 years ago. If you really want kids, time can be a consideration, but you still have plenty of it either way.

the happiest couple i know met at 35 and 38, respectively! Keep putting yourself out there but don’t settle! And I know it’s easier said than done but keep leaning into who you are and what you like to do and the confidence of that is honestly sexy to the right people!!!!!

In 2021, my bf of 2.5 years broke up with me a few weeks/months after we started looking at houses together. I turned 30 that year and was positive I’d never find love. I spent most of that year depressed and then spent early to mid 2022 hooking up with guys that were trash but convinced myself could be the one. I dated a few nice guys but was turned off by the lack of sparks. I decided to take therapy more seriously and figure out why I only liked the worst men. By January 2023, I felt like I was emotionally ready for a serious relationship and would start going on at least two dates a month. If I didn’t find love by the end of that year, I was going to have a baby on my own.

I met my now husband on Bumble in January 2023. We were engaged in 4 months and married last year, right before I turned 32. I’m now pregnant with our first. And looking back, our first date was so different from any date I’d been on. We were both upfront about our future dreams/relationship wants/needs and spent 5 hours talking about everything under the sun.

Not saying your love story will or should be a whirlwind like ours, just saying that love happens on its own timeline. It’s also completely normal to feel like you’ll never find love. I felt that way up until I found it. But I also accepted what my life could look like without a husband - I bought my own home, started to think about kids without a partner, actively thought about the positives of being single, etc.. I think when you get comfortable with what you think is the “worst case scenario”, the pressure fades and freedom takes its place.

Jumping in here because I had a very similar story! Its funny how things work out, I was thinking about changing cities and winding down dating when I met my husband…we had our first date three years ago at age 30 (me) and 33 (husband) (almost to the date!) and are expecting our first baby in about a week! As much as it is annoying when people say it will happen when you least expect it, it’s good motivation to put yourself out there (or to pull back and enjoy singleness when it doesn’t feel right or is exhausting to be dating, that path took me a while to grow into). It is so important to never settle, my husband meets so many things I was looking for in a partner and more/even things I had given up on. Your person will come and until then there will be so many sweet moments in the single and dating life if you look for them! ❤️

Don’t beat yourself up bc odds are overwhelming that it’s not you nor anything you should do to yourself, it’s that your options are unsatisfactory to downright disappointing. I know it’s cliche at this point, but there’s validity to people saying that they know so many wonderful, well adjusted, brilliant, loving, caring, dynamic single women and not one single man who they would deem acceptable to set them up with.

If it’s imperative that you find a life partner and have a traditional relationship/marriage, I think you need to make dating your second job because it really is a numbers game. Check out some online dating coaches for tips. There’s on one insta called alittlenudge who I like. I don’t always agree with her, but I have non traditional opinions on marriage and relationships to begin with. 🙃

I was literally you and I met my now fiancé right before I turned 32. The way you’re feeling is totally normal!

No. I met my husband at 30, married at 33 and now having first kid at 34

Thank you so much everyone!! I really appreciate your feedback and makes me feel so much better 🥰