I'm really looking forward to my first pregnancy, but I don't think I have the strength to have 4 'bad' and 2 'really bad' months. The apprehensions around it are just constant and stopping me from seeing this as an enjoyable, cherishable time. Clearly, I've spoken to too many people who've had bad pregnancies. I want to hear from the personal experiences of the people on the bowl - how many months of the 9 did you feel like you sort of had to put 'normal life' on hold?

As a woman who gave birth three months ago, I totally understand your worries. For me, the first trimester was rough. Lots of nausea and fatigue, so I definitely felt like I had to slow down for about two months. After that, most days were pretty normal, with just some discomfort here and there. The last month was tough again with sleep and mobility, but honestly, it wasn’t the whole pregnancy that felt “on hold.” Everyone’s experience is different, but you might find more good days than you expect. Try not to let other people’s stories scare you because yours could be much smoother!

FWIW - nothing about the fertility / IVF process was enjoyable to me. I was an anxious mess for basically every week of treatment through my anatomy scan (20 weeks) when I started to calm down a little bit. I was still often worried.

You WILL cherish the baby so just take care of your well-being / mental health the best you can during the process.

Currently 3 weeks post partum with my first child. I had a relatively easy pregnancy with no major complications and I still hated every minute of it. Not everyone loves being pregnant and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you won’t love your child and feel like the 40 weeks of misery were worth it in the end.

Wow really good

Just had my 2nd baby a few weeks ago. I think this will vary significantly from person to person and also depends on how you define putting life on hold. My first pregnancy was totally normal with no complications or issues and I didn’t feel like I had to put anything on hold. There was a few weeks in first trimester I had morning sickness so I had to slow down a bit, but once I figured out how to adapt (b12/unisom, carbs for breakfast, lots of water/ice chips and plenty of rest) it was totally manageable. Then all was good until the end of the pregnancy when I was super large and was just moving slower and not sleeping super well. At no point did I feel like I was putting “normal life” on hold.

2nd pregnancy was a bit harder on me - I got sick a few times (winter pregnancy w a toddler in day care) and gained weight much earlier so some of my late pregnancy symptoms just showed up a bit earlier. But again I wouldn’t have described it as putting normal life on hold unless you’re talking about things like major travel, limited diet, etc. those are logistical things you’d have to change or adapt too but it doesn’t feel like such a sacrifice in the moment when you know what you’re getting out of the situation 😊

I had HG in both of my pregnancies, which is a pretty awful and exhausting experience, but statistically that’s a pretty small minority of pregnancies! Looking around at all of my friends who’ve had children, most of those pregnancies were fine (meaning it sucked at least a little 😭). The numbers show that pregnancies where 6 out of 9.5 months are truly awful are the exception, not the norm. Unless you have a specific reason to believe you would have a very difficult pregnancy, why go into it expecting that (unless you like to prepare for the worst so that you can handle it better)? Talk to your doctor to see what they usually see - our friend groups can provide a lot of anecdotes, but doctors see hundreds of women every year and can give you a much better view of the average. Good luck!

Zero months. I had two super easy pregnancies. Stay active before, during, and after, and that could help. Everyone is different so you never know if it’ll be easy, medium, or difficult. But there’s definitely such a thing as no morning sickness and mostly no symptoms (me, both times).
The fertility stuff was way more taxing, mostly mentally and emotionally.

I’m 36w currently FTM, and I wouldn’t say any of it has been remotely “bad”
I had very manageable nausea, no vomiting, and only a few weeks of light fatigue and neither were disruptive to my life/work at all.
With 4 weeks to go I still wouldn’t say it’s bad, I’m uncomfortable at moments and there are some aches but it’s all easy to handle. Overall I’d say pregnancy has been an enjoyable experience.

Also, you’re stronger than you think you are!

Try not to borrow worry on this one, everyone reacts differently to pregnancy and every pregnancy can be different. I had an easy first pregnancy and delivery at 35. Very little nausea (I threw up 3 times and it was all second tri from acid reflux), I worked out 3 days a week, and kept bike commuting until the third tri (partially stopped because of winter/ice risk). We just started trying for another and I’m crossing everything I have a similar experience again but who knows!

Anecdotally, I was on a D1 team in college and most of my teammates that I kept in touch with/know about their pregnancies have had it pretty easy. I’m sure there are a lot of factors (ie economic status, race, education levels) but no doubt physical health was a common factor. If you’re not yet TTC, I’d focus on getting in good cardio shape/building muscle and adopting good movement and eating habits. Those are things you can control right now to set yourself up best.

Yes, you have to filter out all the "horror stories" unless it truly is beneficial (like a not so good experience with a specific hospital in your area or if you start swelling start tracking your blood pressure). The reality: everyone's experience and journey is different.

I had a fairly great experience at 42. Yes, there were moments when i felt nauseous in first trimester, but I never vomited like you see on tv and i had an appetite. By week 12 the nauseousness stopped cold turkey, and 2nd trimester was great! No health issues, I had more energy, knocked things off my to do list and worked part-time. No issues until 3rd trimester when preeclampsia snuck up on me during weeks 32 and 33. After a 2weeks of swelling I checked my blood pressure (at home) which was severely high and drove myself to the hospital. I was admitted to the hospital but thankfully my doctors monitored me closely and I had an emergency C-section (my epidural worked the first time--there are stories about this too). Baby was a few weeks early, but HEALTHY. ) Today I have a healthy baby girl. Stay positive. All the best to you!

I feel like my morning sickness presented different from most of my friends…3-4 nights a week usually in the window of 2-4am I’d throw up repeatedly and violently for about an hour straight. The rest of the week, other than extreme food aversions, I felt pretty good first trimester. Overall 2nd tri was a lot better. I had some insomnia and heartburn throughout that got bad in the last ~6 weeks. Still did a lot of social things and billed enough in biglaw to get my bonus.
My advice is if you are throwing up as much as I was, push to get the Zofran right away. I was mainly seeing an NP early on who wanted me to cycle through every version of prescription B1/Unisom before going to Zofran. My doctor later said she wished she had known because she would have prescribed it way sooner and I suffered for no reason. There are a variety of safe nausea meds out there and you don’t have to just accept being sick as part of pregnancy, but you will have to advocate for yourself to get any help. Same with prescription level heartburn meds.
Tbh I felt overall worse and my work/social life took a way bigger hit during my last IVF retrieval than it did from pregnancy.

I did not have any morning sickness, nausea or food aversions. Pregnancy was not bad. Would do it again.

My daughter is 12 weeks old. Pregnancy was awful as I had hyperemesis. First trimester was the worst, it was mentally and physically horrific and I remember thinking I wish I could just take some sort of drug to sleep through until the baby came out. Even my husband was so worn out as he had to take on being my full time carer. Pregnancy was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There was not a single month that wasn’t extremely difficult with the nausea and vomiting, even with medication.

That said, I want to do it all over again. Having a newborn has been refreshingly easy, I recovered really fast, and I am so in love with my daughter and would do it 1000 times to bring her into the world again.

Unfortunately it depends. My first child my whole 9 months were affected and I got laid off from my job from what I believe to be bad performance related to the pregnancy - my second child - a few weeks , won performance awards at work

Everyone is different, every pregnancy is different.

For me both pregnancies were horrible, 6 out of 9 months (first and third trimesters). In fact I would have another baby because I love my kids so much, if I had one more frozen embryo and just hire a surrogate, but I do not want to be pregnant again.

0 months in hold
My pregnancy was super easy. I traveled until week 36 and was on active project until the last day.
Everyone is different and never know how you pregnancy will go