I’m really struggling. A person I manage became a mom earlier this year and of course I extended leeway when she came back from maternity leave because she’s got a lot on her plate. I have to do twice as much or pass to my already overworked team to compensate, but I thought it would get better.

Recently her father passed and she (very understandably) took a week and a half off. Upon return, she is rarely online, misses meetings and leaves emails/DMs unanswered (cont comments)

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I have had a couple of heart to hearts where I’m empathetic and ask how she’s doing/what she needs. I also asked about times when she was unresponsive and at one point said I’ve been extending a lot of leeway (this was prior to father passing). She then complained to HR that I am making a stressful time even harder for her. She accused me of not being sympathetic to working moms.

The thing is, I’ve dropped my expectations of her to about 30% of the rest of my team and she continues not to clear that bar. She goes hours sometimes days being unreachable and does not attend meetings. Work often needs redo by rest of my team.

I can tell the rest of my team are stressed with the situation. I am at a loss. Given her complaints I’m afraid to have candid conversations with her. Her work output has stalled all year and I cannot keep managing the load, but I feel for her. Kids, losing parents these are tough things. I want to make clear to her that requesting time off, asking for help are acceptable but some of her behaviors (being absent) are not unacceptable but I truly do not want to make a hard time in her life more challenging.

Tips?

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