I’m unstaffed for the first time this week, which means that no one wants to book me. Not even for BD. I have been crying all day and start having suicidal thoughts again.

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Posting as :
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This hurts to read, OP. Work isn’t everything. Your value as a human being is not derived from how much or how hard you work. Close your laptop and go do something for yourself today. Literally anything to get your mind off work for a bit! There will always be more work to do later... and you only get to live today once.

likeuplifting

Love this

Well I wouldn't tske it too personal I feel lome there are also a lot of politics that come in to play when it comes to staffing. As a consultant I think we all will experience it at one point. I was on the bench for 3 months one time before getting staffed

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Breathe!! It’s only first time... use it as a break! I enjoyed my time on the bench and being unstaffed cos I knew it wouldn’t last. Wash your face, take a shower and go to a coffee shop with your laptop. Life is not all about work... there’s alternative ways of living a good life. If you so wish, start sending out resumes at the coffee shop. You never know. Cheer up!

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Hi, I’m a member from the Fishbowl Community team and wanted to pass along some helpful support resources. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a hard time, but please know that you’re not alone. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional at 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741 who can help you get any support you need. The Fishbowl community is here for you!

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I have been on the bench for about 2 months now as well. I’m living abroad away from family, so work is the only thing I have. I can’t share with anyone because I dont want family and friends to see me as a loser.

I actually look forward to the bench. that's your time to take a break and focus on you. don't think of it as a negative, and learn to enjoy that time. work isn't and shouldn't be everything - this is something I'm slowly learning myself.

Time to take a look at what you consider “successful”. Is it being defined by what you believe you are supposed to be doing, or what makes you happy. I’m speaking from experience because I’d feel like this when I wasn’t 100% utilized in whatever I was doing. This eventually burned me out and I was hospitalized for depression and SI.

It sounds like you may have had a similar experience. Work and achievement meant everything and it’s what you told people and got you a positive response. When I couldn’t meet the expectations I set for myself I couldn’t bear the idea of telling people.

Ex: I thought I wanted to be a doctor, chased that dream and discovered it wasn’t mine and I was miserable. I felt like I had failed and people would think less of me for it. Fun fact: I was wrong. People understood and were happy that I was looking for what would make me happy now.

2 months on the bench feels terrible, but like D1 said before, staffing is weird. At Cap, they’re usually fighting each other and making dumb decisions about what they think may work. It has nothing to do with you.

If you’re out of the country and not sure what to do, the easiest thing you can try is to go for a walk. Just get out and walk and listen and take in what is around you. It’s great at getting your mind to stop ruminating. After your walk, maybe you can explore something you saw along the way that looked interesting.

Anyway, I hope this long ass post helps. If anything it probably got you out of your head, like “what is this guy saying?”.
😜

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