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Sounds like trauma responses that keep you stuck. I think therapy might really help you, from a trauma therapist. Not every therapist understands trauma just fyi
Good luck moving forward. I think you’ve done great just posting your thoughts.
I do want to go back to therapy. I had to stop because I ran out of money for it and am kind of in debt from making some horrible decisions I got pressured into. Once I’m out of debt I will, just trying to make it till then.
You got this. The fact that you’re aware is the biggest step!
Boundary setting, assertive communication along with knowing my worth was what I worked through with my therapist. Plennnty of self help books and YouTube videos about these if you can’t afford therapy. I know this sounds bad but Chat gpt is also a great sounding board as a free resource
Psychocybernetics is a good book that helps you see yourself differently. 48 laws of Power by Robert Greene to learn how to defend yourself
And, always stay kind. Assertive strong boundaries but kind :) this stuff can really make you the villain and that’s not good either
I’ve been aware awhile, just been in denial a bit. I’ve had to come terms with the fact my close friend I kinda had a crush on had been taking advantage of that. Given thousands upon thousands of dollars to someone who doesn’t even like me as a person.
I’m trying to be more assertive, problem is I have long lulls where I’m just not interacting with anyone, which in turn zaps all confidence and makes me act like have to give up everything to next person I interact with.
At the stage now I’m trying not to take crap from people, but not what will happen next time someone acts nice to me again.
I will also suggest looking into an improv group. Doing improv may improve your social/speaking skills, if that’s a concern. It’s also a way to be silly and have fun with others
All the hobby things I try to have proven terrible to meet people, so not opposed to the idea, just worried I’m too uptight
I agree with looking into therapy. Or potentially finding a podcast that resonates with you (hopefully not a red pill one lol). I did most of my healing listening to a podcast episode a day and then journaling about stuff that resonated with me
I don’t care for red pill nonsense because only person I really hate it myself.
I appreciate having suggestions other than therapy. I’ll go as soon as I’m out of debt, just trying to survive till then.
I am so sorry that you’re feeling all these emotions. I would love to connect with you and would be happy to check in to see how you’re doing sometime. Please let me know if I can DM?
I’m open to connecting to people here, but I’m on doing a lot better all the same, thanks.
Been a rough past few days with multiple people giving me a hard time over many different things and kinda snapped real bad over the last weekend. Starting to calm down going into work tomorrow when I’ll be too busy to think about life as much as I do when things are quiet.
Just wondering if you have a Bible? Do you attend church? These can be amazing resources to consider. God sees you, loves you, and would love to have a relationship with you. Praying for you today! By the way, my husband and son are also software engineers.
Yes. You got to do the work and overcome these disadvantages
And sorry I’m incoherent. I’m drunk while replying and bit unhinged lately