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He’s interested but thinks he has to play it cool
Enthusiast
No.
Conversation Starter
I don’t like the advice here. I’m a guy that’s texting a girl and she’s responding in like 2-3 hours and it usually takes me a day or two to respond. Honestly I’m very interested but I find texting exhausting. After my daily job and all the other stuff I have to do I don’t have the energy to open my phone and respond to a bunch of texts. And I also want to put some thought into the responses so I don’t want to respond when I’m tired or preoccupied. But I am still very interested in her.
Ya C2, it clearly means that a relationship is not your priority. @Op if it isn’t yours too continue with your little texting game but if it is you should definitely take a call and just stop texting that guy.
Enthusiast
Give up or ask him out. You're both wasting your time.
Conversation Starter
I like him, but I’m starting to lose interest with the slow pace of messages. He seems to be busy, but I’m not sure if someone is that busy that they can’t respond to a message that day?? I could be over thinking this?
Community Builder
AE1, that's healthy advice!
Rising Star
I don’t think you’re over thinking this. I would also think that his delayed response displays a lack of interest. Unless he truly is just super busy. Maybe keep the conversation going and see if things pick up, but also explore other opportunities if they present themselves…
Here’s an idea: communicate. Why are you on here trying to read his mind and doing passive aggressive stuff like bland responses? Without being accusatory, ask him what’s going on that his texts are super slow and express your needs in a relationship (daily texting) in a calm way. You may find out its just his texting style, he’s really busy, introverted, depressed, etc. or that he just doesn’t care. Bring it up now so you can address it earlier. You seem afraid of hearing that he’s just not interested, but you should want to find that out now instead of wasting your time. This is really not complicated, and the other advice here is to just jump to conclusions, which you shouldn’t do.
Enthusiast
I think they've just been texting.
He’s texting other girls, I was in this situation recently and the I saw the guy had a bunch of text threads from other women. I confronted him and he was texting 3 other girls on the side. Move on
So be direct and ask him why slow. If you want to move toward something more serious. If not, then why care about the delay?
If you’re confused, he’s not/ not that interested.
Conversation Starter
Tell him point-blank you want to go on a date or end the convo
Chief
I tell you hwhat, have you tried asking him this directly, albeit non confrontationally?
Community Builder
The hank hill "hwhat" is much appreciated reading material
I personally would take his lack of communication as inconsistent and keep it moving. A man that’s really interested will make the time to respond at a decent timeframe.
He’s just not that into you. Sorry. Keeping you just warm enough in case he gets bored and needs someone to hang out with (or bang).
Enthusiast
Eh, if he’s into you, he would text you back. You would be on his mind. You are not a priority so I would move onto the next person.
Even if this isn’t what is happening that is how he makes you feel. If that is his communication style and you want more contact, then it’s not worth it to try to force something to work.
I was in your boat when I was dating - often frustrated and confused at the texting behaviors of men and trying to figure out what was going on. When I met my husband, it was so different. I didn’t have to wonder if he was playing games, texting other girls, etc. He was intentional about his communication. I agree with others that your person either is not too invested, or has other priorities. I also heard some guys liking to keep their options open hence the slow texting. Idk - all I know is You Deserve Better girl! Drop him and find someone who cares enough that he won’t make you wonder!
As a guy, I’ll be honest here - OP, he’s just not that interested in you and quite possibly have other women in line. Some guys will prioritize others in terms of likelihood for them to go hook up and you might not be on that list/priority. I have guy friends who text like that and I’m on that guilty list too.
I’m always skeptical , i’m thinking the change of time , he /she is overseas and is a scammer. Ask him/her to meet. That will tell you everything you need to know
Have you guys been on any dates? If not, then I wouldn't respond anymore. Or be more blunt that you're looking for more than a pen pal. What types of stuff do you guys talk about? Are you guys getting to know each other over text? Either way, if he's consistently taking 1-2 days to respond to simple messages, and especially if you haven't been on any dates, he's probably not that interested in dating anyone right now.
I don’t think responding slowly is a problem, but I do wonder why he is just taking such a long time to get anywhere in the conversation. In my experience on the apps, if it isn’t going anywhere within a week and it’s like pulling teeth, I just bounce.
This could definitely be the case It’s happened to me.
Enthusiast
I HATE that