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I halfway own it. I don’t say anything about ADHD. But I say I’m sorry I’m all over the place. I haven’t finished the written motion yet. And I have a hard time talking through things until I’ve written it out.
I do it apologetically and a little self-deprecating. Everyone has always been very cool about it. The catch is you have to follow it up with a really well written motion.
I don’t know if this would help, but I sometimes make a checklist for items or topics that need to be discussed and possibly resolved during the conversation
If it's a spontaneous conversation I say I shifted gears to something else so I don'thave everything top of mind, and then give a very brief summary (like 1-2 sentences max). If they ask for more detail and I feel like that'sgoing to make me more ausceptible to going down rabbit holes of info, I tell them I'll send them a writeup or set up a call to discuss after I'm done with [task currently working on] and have some time to look over my notes again. (That requires then following up with an email/call later to provide progress, and that follow-up better be streamlined and helpful).
Sometimes I also do what A1 suggested, which is to say I'll need to put my thoughts on paper. That also means that what you put on paper has to be more organized than your scattered summary.
I hand write all my checklists for given topics. I’ve also made mini-outlines like in law school. Some I’ve got pneumonic devices, others I just remember there are [X] topics.
That provided me the needed structure to be able to flit back and forth.
This has been a huge problem for me in the past. I’ve found that making a checklist of topics has been really helpful. It’s taken a little trial and error to figure out the level of detail to write down so that I can quickly look at the list for a reminder but don’t seem like I’m reading from notes. Also if I realize my speaking is getting disorganized, I’ll stop myself and actually say something like “sorry, actually let me back up and explain that more fully.” Then I try to signpost the order of topics with first, second, next, finally, etc. That at least signals to others that we both understand I wasn’t being clear and then gives the both of clear order cues. Sometimes it comes off a little stilted but it’s better than the feeling of finishing speaking, seeing blank stares, and realizing no one took in anything you said.
I think acknowledging the chaos and trying again is a great tip. As you say better to come across clearly plus it makes one look more self aware rather than dumb 😅