Laid off corporate/m&a/capital markets attorney from biglaw. Purely political and am disappointed that I didn’t “play the game” correctly. If anyone wants to offer advice or guidance, I’d appreciate it. Hope everyone has a great long weekend 🤠

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See whicu partners don’t like each other. To do that you need to be incredibly observant and pay attention in meetings to how they speak to one another and whether the rapport seems friendly. If they don’t like each other and both give you work to do due st the same time you need to be careful that it doesn’t look like you’re picking one or the other.

You’ve got to be outgoing even if you aren’t. Walk around saying hi to people, go to the events. And try to be more like them unfortunately. Adopt their mannerisms, wear your hair and style your outfits the way they do, etc.

If you feel like something is wrong (not criminal or unethical just a wrong decision) such as return to office, etc., you’ve got to be quiet about it.

When you talk to other associates, they don’t need to know anything about your personal life or holiday plans. You can throw in nuggets here or there so they feel like they’re getting to know you (like saying you love running or are training for a marathon or go to Pilates). Other than that, try to give them as. Little info as possible. You do that by being super friendly and asking people about themselves. People like talking about themselves and will like you because if it.

Hours have to be higher than others could get away with (assuming you can get work). Basically unfortunately we have to work twice as hard, be twice as nice, be observant, and try to fit the mold of what they expect which unfortunately comes at the cost of being ourselves. Honestly, it’s better we go where we’re accepted once we’ve gotten that name on our resume. It’s exhausting to play their games all day. It could be just that you were in the wrong firm. You may find a firm where you can thrive! I hope you find one soon and I’m sorry for what happened to you 😔

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Atty 1, how do you deal with them being vulnerable around you and expecting the same?

I keep coming up against office politics where peer associates share their insecurities and look to me to share mine… I keep my guard up because I don’t trust them (rightly so since they bitch about other co workers in front of me and are super nice when we are in front of said co worker).

How do you play the game?

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1. You’re not alone nor the first or last unfortunately
2. Take this as a learning opportunity to see big law for what it is

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