Met a guy through friends a few years ago. Last year a mutual friend said he was separated and interested in me. We dated for about 6 months before he went back to his wife.

Said mutual friend is having a gathering and cleared it with me before he invited him. Mutual friend does not like the wife and so guy usually didn't bring her to his parties. If you were the husband would you go? If you were the wife would you let him go alone or go with him?

Trying to assess risk here...

Posting as :
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Risk is he wants to get laid with you, once done move on

funny

You're both adults, what happened happened, leave it in the past where it belongs. He's working things out with his wife, respect that. This isn't a risk assessment, this is a self-control issue.

I dated within my friend circle prior to meeting my now husband, I still hang out with that friend circle, oftentimes without my husband. that ex is sometimes around and we behave like self-respecting adults. Husband is in a hobby club where he often runs into someone he was interested in prior to us meeting, I don't attend these events, it's fine, I trust him. This is normal.

like

This. O1 hits the nail on the head. You should go and enjoy with your friends.

If she happens to be present, don’t give a F about her. If she creates drama, the guy should leave the party with his wife to avoid spoiling everyone’s day.

And if she’s not present, what you have planned is the grown-up thing to do.

You’re not the wrong here, you’re sorted in your thoughts and life. Go chill! Eat oranges. Be a badass 😎

likehelpful

Agree with Associate 1. Sounds like a headache and unnecessary drama. Is the gathering that important that you hate to miss it? If not, skip out and save your sanity.

smart

Honestly OP I am the type of person who just wouldn't risk it and wouldn't go. But I also am not a huge party goer anyhow so it would just be an excuse to get me out of it haha. However you are both adults so if you really don't care then just go and be an adult. Easy peasy.

like

You are married or single?

Single

Is there an ulterior motive here? People do things without their spouses sometimes its not a big deal.

Not on my part. I dunno, if a woman my husband had slept with while we were separated was going to be at the same party, I might look sideways about that or want to be there to keep an eye out. Wouldn't you?

Kind of sounds like a headache waiting to happen in some way. I’ve never really had this situation though, been married for a long time and had completely different friend groups in the beginning. For me, if I’m already worried about it being an issue, then it probably will end up being one in some way. But I don’t know, always easier being on the outside and looking in.

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